


A Record of Life

by morgann_03_09_27



Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: F/F, F/M, M/M, PTSD, Past Abuse, Past Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Past Child Abuse, Past Rape/Non-con, Past Torture, Past Violence, Post-Canon, allison helps kevin through his 'special' crisis, and nicky hemmick needs tik tok, because i can't stand that they have flip phones, he talks about a lot of things, healing!kevinday, it takes place in 2020, kevin starts a video diary, neil josten is jesus, no really, non-binary alvarez, we get some dadmack
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-21
Updated: 2021-03-11
Packaged: 2021-03-18 01:34:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 14
Words: 32,890
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29601822
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/morgann_03_09_27/pseuds/morgann_03_09_27
Summary: “Neil, for your play, I call the tragically attractive male lead that all the ladies cry over because, alas, I am not heterosexual.” Nicky wiped an imaginary tear from his cheek.Dan clasped her hands together. “Oh! Oh! And your one true love is the only man who was able to heal your broken heart after your sister was brutally stabbed to death.”Matt nodded along eagerly. “Yeah, yes, and he’s also the one who talked you out of your crazy, suicidal revenge plan.”“And,” Andrew added wryly, “he’s the only one in the village who could do math, and therefore taught you the correct mathematical formula to use to solve the sister-killers riddle. That’s how you got your revenge.”“But,” Allison interjected. “The real revenge was the love and friendship you found along the way.”Nicky wiped more imaginary tears off of his face. “Oh, I’m so strong.”"I just," Kevin said, "wanted help with math."***********************************************************or, Wymack gives Kevin a camera and he starts recording video diaries, plus some quality Fox bs, and some apologies for accidental trips off of a waterfall (but it's fine, it's all in the past, all is forgiven....)
Relationships: Abby Winfield/David Wymack, Allison Reynolds/Renee Walker (All For The Game), Alvarez/Laila Dermott, Katelyn/Aaron Minyard, Kevin Day & Jean Moreau, Kevin Day/Jeremy Knox, Kevin Day/Thea Muldani, Matt Boyd/Danielle "Dan" Wilds, Neil Josten/Andrew Minyard, Nicky Hemmick/Erik Klose
Comments: 40
Kudos: 98





	1. Kevin Gets a Gift

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> creds to my friend for coming up with the idea and then 'commissioning' me to write it

The case was placed onto the table with less of a slam than Wymack should have been capable of. Kevin looked up at his coach- his father- with a raised eyebrow, not daring to voice the question yet. Wymack returned his gaze with a careful look, a look that meant he wasn’t sure how Kevin was going to react to whatever he said next. 

Instead of explaining, Wymack pushed the case across the table to Kevin. Finally tearing his gaze away from Wymack, Kevin examined the case. 

It was made out of thick, durable black cloth with a handle on top of it, giving it the illusion of a bulky bag or small suitcase. There were velcro and zipper pouches lining the outside of it, each filled with numerous cloths, sprays, and...lens covers. Knowing he was right- but wondering why Wymack was showing him this- Kevin pulled out an old video recorder from the interior of the case. It was one of the ones from the nineteen-nineties, with a screen that flipped out. 

“Your mother-” Wymack stopped short, and after clearing his throat, he managed: “It was Kayleigh’s.” 

Kevin froze. He put the camera down as if it were made out of glass. “What do… it’s hers?” he could feel the tightness in his chest growing. “Why- what- how did you-” 

Wymack was in front of him all at once, gripping his son’s shoulder but still keeping a good distance between the two of them. “I was unpacking some of the boxes I used to keep in storage- I found it this morning.” 

Right. Of course. Wymack had moved into Abby’s house shortly after the Foxes victory against the Ravens two months ago- two months after Riko’s death. When Wymack had announced that he and Abby were living together, money had been exchanged, tears had been shed, and years-old bets had been settled. Kevin was happy for them- Wymack deserved it, and Kevin loved Abby like a mother. 

Still, it had all happened so quickly. Wymack had known it, too; he had seen the look on his son’s face during that celebratory dinner at Abby’s. He had pulled Kevin aside that night. 

“How are you holding up, kid?” 

A glass had been in Kevin’s hand that whole talk, and it had anchored him enough. It had anchored him enough to know that Wymack hadn't _just_ been asking about the reveal of his and Abby’s relationship. “I still feel like he’s out there, biding his time.” Kevin had laughed bitterly. “It all feels like one of his games. I expect him to show up one day and whisk Jean and I back to Evermore.” 

Wymack had nodded and considered his answer for some time before answering, “I’m sure Ichirou did a thorough job. He’s gone. You’re here, and you’re staying. I know you, Andrew, and Neil are planning on staying on campus this summer- they’ll be there with you the whole time, and I’m sure those little freaks won’t hesitate to remind you of the present.” 

Kevin hadn’t said anything, so Wymack had continued:

“He’s not everything. He  _ wasn’t _ everything and everyone. You have your team now. You have Abby, me, and even Betsy if you ever feel like taking a page out of Andrew’s book and talking to her.” Wymack had downed the rest of his glass. “Just take it one day at a time, kid.” 

And so Kevin had. Two months of taking it day-by-day had proven more effective than Kevin had previously thought possible. Visits with Jean were...tough. Kevin often avoided them. He was doing okay now- he stopped expecting to see Riko lurking around every corner and in every shadow. 

“Kevin.” Wymack’s voice snapped Kevin back to the present. Wymack gestured vaguely to the video recorder now resting on the table. “Your mom recorded video diaries. I don’t know exactly what’s in them, but…” 

Kevin nodded, not needing him to finish the sentence. He cradled the camera in his arms and placed it gently back into the case. “Thank you,” he whispered. Wymack nodded and patted him awkwardly on the shoulder. 

He walked back out of Wymack’s house in a daze, but still managed to find Andrew’s car, with the man in question sitting on the hood of it smoking a cigarette. Always a cigarette. It was never a snack, or a bottle of water, or anything but a goddamn cigarette. Kevin wanted to snap the thing in half, but he had better survival instincts than that. 

Andrew glanced up at Kevin once, and then he pushed off the hood of the car and into the driver’s seat. The car was started by the time Kevin closed the passenger door, and they were already on their way to Wymack’s old apartment by the time Kevin’s seatbelt was in place. 

Kevin, Neil, and Andrew were staying at Wymack’s old appartement for the summer, and they’d already been there for a month. Fox Tower was closed for the summer, and none of them had felt like sharing a house with both Wymack and Abby. So, that had been the solution. Wymack would pay the rent for the summer, because “goddammit, Josten, it’s not charity if I’m paying rent for my own apartment” and the three of them would remain on-campus. 

Besides, it was only Neil, Andrew, and Kevin there. Aaron was off with Katelyn somewhere, Nicky was in Germany with Erik, finally, and the rest of the Foxes had gone home (aside from Allison, who had gone with Renee back to her house). 

Neil looked up from the Russian book he was reading as Andrew closed the door behind him and Kevin with a quiet  _ click.  _ It took Neil all of two seconds to figure out something was off. His eyes gave Andrew a quick once-over, and when Neil came to the conclusion that Andrew was okay, his eyes surveyed Kevin. Neil stopped once he caught sight of Kevin’s white-knuckle grip on the recorder case dangling from his hand. Kevin saw Neil shoot a silent question to Andrew, who was still standing behind Kevin. Andrew’s voice floated past Kevin. “He was at Wymack’s.” 

Neil nodded, taking the answer as he wanted. He opened his mouth to say something more to Andrew, but Kevin didn’t stick around to hear it. He stumbled into his room- Wymack’s old study- and locked the door behind him. Setting the camera down on the mattress, he stared at it for what seemed like years. 

Thoughts flew around Kevin’s head as they usually did when he overthought things. What was Kevin going to find on those tapes? What was his mother saying? Wymack had called them ‘video diaries’; that meant Kayleigh talked  _ to  _ the camera. About what? Exy? School? Travelling? Ireland?

Wymack? 

Kevin shook the thought out of his head as soon as it formed. He took a deep breath and opened the camera. 

She appeared on the screen. Dark hair, bright smile, and fair skin. Smiling as if the world was hers to bend.

Beautiful. 

His mother’s voice erupted from the camera, garbled for a few seconds, and then cleared. Her Irish accent came out of the speaker all at once and squeezed the life out of Kevin’s chest. “...second week in Japan. This lad-” Here, Kayleigh flashed the camera to show a young, handsome Asian man. Kevin choked when he realized he was looking at a young Tetsuji Moriyama. “- is faring far better than me in talking to the local residents. They started showing him this peculiar sport last week, and he  _ finally  _ convinced them to allow me to play. I’ve managed to talk to David in the states about-” The camera was slammed shut. 

Kevin couldn’t listen anymore. He had listened to a grand total of twenty-eight seconds, and he was already shaking. 

Neither Andrew nor Neil questioned Kevin as Neil drove them to the Foxhole Court hours before they usually went. 

The peace and no-questions lasted for three and a half hours- the amount of time Kevin spent hurling balls at Andrew. Kevin could’ve gone for longer, all night, but before he could wind up for another shot, Andrew took off his helmet and stepped out of goal. Neil, who had been attempting to defend Kevin as he had switched from his right to left hand in rapid succession, frowned when he saw his goalie start walking to half-court. 

“Talk, Day.” Andrew knocked the ball out of Kevin’s racket. Kevin glared at Andrew, just wanting to go back to Exy, but Andrew wasn’t budging. “I’m not getting back in that goal until you do.” 

Neil looked as annoyed as Kevin felt by the turn of events, but eventually his curiosity won over. “What was in that case?” 

“A camera.” Kevin was still pissed that they were stopping the game. 

“Fascinating. I wasn’t aware we were letting little things like a camera screw us over.” Andrew knitted his fingers through Kevin’s racket and gave it a hard tug, willing Kevin to elaborate. 

Accepting defeat, Kevin said, “Wymack gave it to me. It was my mother’s.” 

Andrew blinked and Neil’s breath caught. Andrew was the one to break the heavy silence. “And?” 

Neil flashed Andrew a quick look. Andrew had killed his own mother- really, Tilda was Aaron’s mother, not Andrew’s. Still, biologically, Andrew had technically committed matricide- a fact that he didn’t bother to hide from the team. That being considered, there wasn’t much of a way Andrew could understand this on the level Kevin needed him to. Though, for better or worse, Neil did. 

“What’s on it?” 

“I’m...not sure.” Kevin shrugged. “I watched thirty seconds of the first video- it’s more like a diary entry, though. A recorded diary.” 

Neil’s eyes became clouded over. Probably, he was thinking back to his own mother- Mary Hatford. Kevin didn’t remember her well, but he knew enough about Neil’s life on the run and Mary’s upbringing to know that she wasn’t a pleasant person. Andrew’s fists always clenched when Mary was mentioned. Kevin was willing to bet money that if Mary were alive today, Andrew would kill her just as he had killed Aaron’s mother. 

But Neil still loved her, regardless of her hard hits and brash words. That much Kevin understood. It was funny how Neil scorned Aaron for the exact same thing. Neil probably wished he had a piece of his mother preserved in video logs. 

Sure enough, Neil replied, “You should watch it.” 

Kevin didn’t want to make any promises, so he made a sound of indifference. Andrew accepted this answer, but he didn’t get back into goal. Instead, he led them off Court and into the locker room with minimal protesting from the other two. 

Neil’s words, however few, stuck in Kevin’s mind. Hadn’t Kevin always wished to see his mother again? Wasn’t this a way to see her again- and even get to know her better? 

By the time he had showered and changed out, he had made his decision. After the three of them had a somewhat-dinner back at the apartment, Kevin grabbed his headphones from his desk and started to walk into his room. Andrew and Neil gave him looks with different levels of interest and questioning, then bid Kevin goodnight before disappearing into their own room and closing the door behind them. 

Kevin wasn’t used to sleeping alone in a room. Moving into Wymack’s apartment had presented him with two options: one, he could tell Andrew he wasn’t ready and he could share a room with Andrew and Neil, just as they did back in Fox tower. But, ultimately, Kevin chose the second option: face the challenge head-on. He knew Andrew knew why Kevin was doing this- and just how much it had cost him those first few weeks. Neil had seen Kevin and Riko’s old room at the Nest, so Neil understood as well. Hell, Neil probably hadn’t slept in a bed without his mother until he came to Palmetto State. 

Kevin hooked his headphones into the camera and powered it on again. His mom’s voice floated up to his ears, bringing a strange sensation to his chest. The video picked up exactly where Kevin had paused it.

“...Exy. Is that how you pronounce it in English? Fierce.” she laughed and Kevin’s heart both sunk and soared at the same time. “It looks a tad like lacrosse in the states, don’t you think, Tetsuji?” 

Tetsuji’s answer was lost by the sound of a ball slamming into wood. Kayleigh turned the camera so Kevin could see the makings of what looked like a primitive Exy court- there was no plexiglass, therefore many of the properties of modern Exy were lost in the jumble of wood and metal stakes. 

Kevin stayed like that, folded on his mattress, watching his mother, for hours. She talked and laughed and sang and even recorded her and Tetsuji talking through their ‘Exy Rulebook’ that they were compiling on a post-it note. 

He was tempted to stay like that until morning, but sleep claimed him just as he was getting through the second half of the Japan videos. When he woke in the morning, the camera was dead in his hands with the headphones tangled around it. There were years of videos on the camera- it would take a normal person hours, days, weeks, months to get through this much footage. 

Fortunately for Kevin, he was the obsessive sort.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> all characters belong to nora  
> that's the first chapter, I know not much happens, but hey! gotta get that stuff out of the way at some point!  
> comments and kudos are appreciated :)


	2. Andrew Eats a lot of German Chocolate

By the end of the week, he had gone through all the videos, picking apart each one and making a new place in his heart for them. His roommates had to know what had taken up his time this week, but they didn’t mention it once. Neither did Wymack, but that came as no surprise; Wymack wasn’t one for emotions. 

Throughout the weeks, the gears in Kevin’s head wouldn’t stop, couldn’t stop. The idea was in motion and Kevin was helpless to ignore or even attempt to stop it. 

“Jesus, Kevin.” Neil pulled off his helmet and looked at Kevin like he had never seen him before. That was the third shot in a row Kevin had missed. “What the hell? What the fuck was that? Why the everloving-” 

Kevin held up a hand, needing a break from Neil’s unrelenting cursing. Neil only got like that when something disturbed his game, and Kevin couldn’t blame him, but he hated being on the receiving end of the anger. It didn’t help that Neil sometimes slipped into an English accent when he was properly pissed off and tired, and Kevin’s Irish blood couldn’t handle that right now. “Would you take a breath?” 

Neil glared daggers at him and looked ready to continue cursing Kevin out when Andrew, still in goal, talked loud enough so Neil and Kevin could hear him. “They’re here. We’re going.” 

Neil stared at Kevin for a second longer before following the goalkeeper of Court with Kevin closely behind. No matter how mortified Neil was of Kevin’s performance, Kevin felt the feeling tenfold. He could make those shots in his sleep. He was just too busy in his own goddamn head, toying with the idea that had come to him last night. 

Ever since he finished watching his mother’s videos a month ago, he had rewatched them more times than he could count. Last night, he had transferred the videos from the ancient camera and onto his laptop. That’s when the idea had come to him- but he had been too scared to act on it. 

Now, he, Andrew, and Neil were on their way to Fox Tower to finally move back into their dorm. The rest of the Foxes would be there soon- if they weren’t already. 

Kevin saw Andrew look at him through the rearview mirror, but Kevin was inside his head again, too busy replaying his missed shots to care. 

Turns out, the Foxes were running late, which was a surprise to absolutely no one. That meant Andrew had gotten them to Fox Tower right on time. The surprise came when the three of them arrived on their floor to find Aaron and Nicky arguing outside of their new dorm. 

“...all summer, Aaron! No calls, barely any texts, no ‘hey, Nicky, my only cousin, how are you?’” Nicky splayed his arms, but Aaron remained unmoved and stone-faced. “I had to hear from Katelyn that you guys were working on med-school stuff! _Katelyn!_ Do you have any idea-” Nicky broke off, finally spotting the other three Foxes. He rushed forward and hugged a slightly uncomfortable Neil for a few seconds before releasing him. Thankfully, Nicky was smart enough not to hug Andrew- because Kevin would hate to start off the year down a backliner- and Nicky settled for slapping Kevin on the shoulder. Aaron’s eyes hardly grazed Kevin and Neil but nodded to his blank-faced twin, who offered the slightest inclination of his head in return. 

Before Kevin could even catch his breath, Nicky was rambling about Erik and Germany and the food and the ice cream and- 

“Jesus, Nicky,” Aaron groaned. “Give it a rest.” 

Nicky stuck out his tongue at his cousin, but eased off. He led them into his dorm and gave them some German treats to try. Kevin declined, but Andew was more than happy to eat enough for all of them. After he had eaten all the chocolates (where did he put all that food? He had to eat his body mass in sugar daily), he jerked his chin and they started going down to Andrew’s car to unload their dorm stuff. 

Nicky, and surprisingly Aaron, helped the three of them walk everything up to their dorm, and by the time they were done the other Foxes had arrived. 

Dan was her usual cheery self, and even called Neil ‘Captain’ a few times, making him flush. Allison walked up and down the stairs infinite times, each time carrying a countless amount of suitcases. Renee trailed after her, diffusing the tension when Allison inevitably bumped into pint-sized Aaron and dropped a suitcase on his head. Aaron just about exploded right then and there, but Renee stepped between the two of them just in time. 

After she finished helping Allison settle into the dorm room, Renee gave Kevin a much-needed hug and caught up with him. Even though Renee must have said barely a few sentences, Kevin found himself sitting in the girls’ room, sipping a smoothie, and telling Renee everything. When he told her about the idea that had been nagging him, instead of laughing like he feared she would, she smiled softly and told Kevin that she thought that would be a really good thing for him. 

Kevin was greeted last, but not least, by Matt. After Matt finished moving the entertainment center into his dorm (Kevin would have to ask him how he felt about sharing a dorm with the cousins one day), he thumped Kevin good-naturedly on the back and made small talk with him. Kevin liked talking to Matt. Like Nicky, Matt was more than happy to carry a conversation by himself. Unlike Nicky, he didn’t overdo it. Matt was appalled to learn that Kevin hadn’t watched any movies in the Nest, and promised Kevin that that would change soon. 

The freshmen arrived after, and Kevin had to laugh at how nervous they each looked. For the life of him, he couldn’t remember Neil- their most recent recruit- ever looking like that. Though, Neil was an exception to a lot of rules. 

Dan offered them a cheerful, official greeting, welcoming them to Fox tower and to the team. The freshmen paid rapt attention, drinking in every word. Dan tried to get Neil to say a few words, and Neil grudgingly said a few short, sparse sentences about being ‘glad to have them’. Matt, Renee, and Nicky introduced themselves next, and then made the rest of the Foxes introduce themselves. 

As the freshmen spouted off their names, Kevin paid little attention, as did Neil and the twins. When it came time for one girl to introduce herself, Neil’s eyes sharped. Both Kevin and Andrew caught the change, so they surveyed the new comer, too. Kevin didn’t see anything extraordinary about her, but it wasn’t like Neil was checking her out in a romantic way, which meant Kevin was going to have to pay close attention to Robin Cross. 

Later that same night, the  original Foxes holed up in the girl’s room. They played a drinking game, blasted music, and watched a terrible action movie that Kevin honestly couldn’t see the appeal to. Nicky went on a drunken rant about how this year was the year he was finally going to convince Coach to let them make team social media accounts, which got a “hear, hear!” from a very drunk Allison.

At the end of the night, when Andrew and Neil disappeared to God-knows-where doing God-knows-what, Kevin found himself alone in a quiet dorm room. He had drunk that night, but not nearly enough to get him drunk. He was tipsy, at most. Maybe it was the subtle buzz of the alcohol in his veins, or maybe it was Renee’s kind words that inspired him to do it, but he closed his bedroom door and propped his mom’s camera up in front of him. 

So, he sighed. Ran a hand through his dark hair. Steeled his nerves. He pressed the bright red ‘record’ button, and then just started talking.

He talked about anything and everything. Big things, small things- things he didn’t even know he wanted to to talk about. He started with something small, something he knew well but was still getting used to: the Foxes. He talked about Andrew and their deal, about Dan and her amazing leadership, about how different it was from the Ravens. He talked about that one time last spring when Allison and Nicky had gone to the mall together and returned with an endless amount of shopping bags and drunk at noon on a Wednesday. Wymack had been mad, and a little exasperated, but couldn’t reprimand them when his whole team was laughing their asses off at a drunk Nicky who had somehow managed to spend a whole day in Allison’s stilettos. 

He talked about the transfer, and how weird it was going from a respectable wardrobe of all black to dressing like a neon pumpkin. He shifted focus to the adults of the Foxes; they were all so different from the adults at the Nest. He recalled the first time he watched Wymack and Dan interact during practice, and remembered how he never saw Dan flinch when Wymack corrected her- not once. He talked about Abby, and how her presence helped him and how she was the first one to hug him in a long, long time and how he remembered it for days after.

He heard Andrew and Neil’s quiet voices out in the hallway, so he looked into the inky camera lens and ended it with: “She reminds me of you, Mom.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as always, comments and kudos are appreciated!


	3. Kevin and Allison Wear Hundred-Dollar Outfits to Pick up Chinese Food

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kevin still had no idea what was going on, and that wasn’t a feeling he appreciated. “And what, exactly, did you do?”  
> Allison spared him an amused glance. “You’re kidding, right?” At Kevin’s blank look, she laughed even harder. “Are you serious? Are you telling me that you, Kevin fucking Day, the best striker in the NCAA, has never had someone give you their number? With your cute face? Impossible.”  
> Kevin’s face burned. “No,” he mumbled into his hands. “Shut up.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw: homophobia, internalized homophobia, mentions of past abuse

The following few days, Kevin waited. He waited to feel embarrassed or ashamed of even the fact that he had had the idea in the first place. But it didn’t come. It felt...good to talk about it. Liberating. A weight off of his chest. 

Maybe Andrew was in the right about the whole Betsy thing all along. 

Unfortunately, no amount of therapy could make Andrew less of an asshole. 

Kevin rubbed his arm where Andrew had just slapped him with the hardcover Andrew had been reading seconds before. “The fuck, Andrew?” 

Andrew’s reading glasses flashed in the light from Kevin’s laptop. “You haven’t written a thing.” 

Kevin sighed and looked at the blank document that he had been staring at for far too long. He was supposed to be getting started on his essay about the Fall of Troy and Achilles that was due next week, but his heart wasn’t in it. “I didn’t think you were concerned about my schoolwork.”

“I’m not,” Andrew said. “Because your major is fucking stupid.” 

Aaron huffed an incredulous laugh from the beanbag on the floor. “You’re majoring in fucking  _ sociology.” _ Neil had told Kevin that Andrew was going to use the degree to be a social worker, but Kevin had a feeling Neil was going to drag Andrew all the way to Court while Kevin helped. Andrew just didn’t want to admit that fact yet. 

Aaron was the next victim claimed by Andrew’s hardcover. “And you’re a fucking  _ doctor.  _ We could go on and on.” 

Aaron mumbled something about  _ someone _ needing to be able to patch up the idiots every time someone gets pissed at a window. Then he glanced darkly down the hall as if he could see the window a medicated Andrew had punched last year. Andrew knew what he was thinking of and gave the bean bag a sharp kick that made Aaron yelp and tumble off. Andrew spared a moment's glance to make sure that his brother was okay before turning back to Kevin.

“Why aren’t you busy writing something that will surely bore your teachers to tears?” 

“Coming from a man who reads Shakespeare,” Kevin muttered darkly. 

“My heart, it weeps from your traitorous insults.” 

“I’m just wondering why Wymack wasn’t at practice today.” Yes, Kevin had not particularly enjoyed the full ‘Vice-Captain Neil Josten’ experience, but he couldn’t help but admire how Neil was growing more comfortable in the role; Wymack had chosen wisely. 

Andrew waved aside his concern. “I’m sure our dear coach will deal with whatever tragedy has struck us now.” Andrew spent another fifteen minutes watching Kevin stare at his computer before giving in. “Go buy us some food.” He threw some money at Kevin. 

Kevin’s brow furrowed. “I thought we were watching a movie in your room tonight with the team?” he directed the question at Aaron. 

The man in question held up his hands in defeat. “Matt and Nicky are planning it, they’re at the dorm right now. Just go and ask them what they want from a take-out place and go and pick it up.” 

Kevin waited to see if Andrew objected to it, and when he didn’t, Kevin grabbed his phone and went across the hall. He was surprised when Allison let him in. “What’s the problem, can’t handle the twinyards anymore?” Allison had coined the term a few weeks before and she insisted on using it, never in the presence of the twins, though. 

Allison admitted him into the room while he explained the take-out request from Aaron. While Kevin and the Minyards had been attempting to make a dent in their school work (well, Kevin and Aaron had been. Andrew was there either to annoy them or for a break from the rest of the team. Kevin couldn’t decide which) the rest of the team had been lounging in Matt and the cousins’ room. He saw Nicky and Renee on the couch, with Nicky showing Renee something on his phone and Renee nodding politely along. Dan was thumbing through the movies on TV, and Matt was attempting to teach a confused Neil a card game. When Matt heard ‘take-out’, his head snapped up. “Food? What kind?” 

Kevin shrugged. “That’s why I’m here.” 

Matt smiled and looked at Neil, as if he expected Neil to weigh in when it came to the Foxes and food. He sighed when Neil offered no opinion and turned his hopes to Kevin. “Do you have anything in mind, Kevin?” 

“I...no?” Kevin shook his head. Matt sighed again, something he seemed to do a lot, and went back to ‘teaching’ Neil. 

“Tsk.” Allison whipped out her phone and, after a few seconds on Google, grabbed Kevin and started dragging him to the door. “We’re going to the Chinese place near Abby’s. Be back soon.” 

Kevin knew better than to protest when it came to Allison- she was as bad as Andrew when it came down to it. Also, this wasn’t the first time Allison had dragged him into her Porche with minimal explanation, and it definitely wouldn’t be the last. 

The speedometer told Kevin that Allison was always at least fifteen miles per hour over the speed limit, all the while blasting the music she had been trying to introduce Kevin to in the past few weeks. Allison and Kevin made small talk, mostly about the Foxes, but, for once, it wasn’t only about Exy. Allison had come to terms with the fact that Kevin couldn’t keep a conversation that wasn’t about something of his interest. So, she worked around it. Whenever Allison wasn’t trying to introduce a hopeless Kevin to new things, she talked to him about things she could loosely tie to Exy. Emphasis on ‘loosely’. 

She and him talked about the Foxes, and if any off-court drama would lead to problems on-court. Allison talked about the former, while Kevin talked about the later, so it was a conversation that they could both pay attention to. They had just wrapped up that conversation when they arrived at the Chinese place Allison had ordered from online. The restaurant had dim lighting, with plenty of TVs and conversations to make the place a tad loud. While they stood by and waited to be helped, Kevin’s eyes shot right to the TV playing the latest interview with Jermey Knox of the USC Trojans. 

Allison watched Kevin watch Jermey for a while. Jeremey was, yet again, calming down a reporter who had tried to ask one too many questions about Jean’s recent transfer there. Kevin really ought to call Jermey soon to make sure Jean wasn’t more than he could handle. After the segment had ended, Allison snorted. Kevin shot her a look and she shrugged. 

“What?” she laughed when Kevin’s eyes narrowed even further. “Oh, please. Honey, you can hide it from Dan, Matt- even the monsters- but you can’t bullshit a bullshitter.” 

Before Kevin could come up with an appropriate response to that, they were called up to the host. Kevin kept his eyes trained on the screen that was picking apart Jermey’s interview. The host spoke up, “What can I help you with? Table for two?” 

Kevin whipped his head around to tell the host that they were being ridiculous, but the words got caught in his throat. The host was a young man with sandy blond hair and sharp blue eyes. His eyes crinkled as he greeted them. He wasn’t...bad looking, Kevin supposed. Allison nudged him and gave him that ever-infuriating smirk of hers. “No, we’re just here to pick up a take-out order for ‘Reynolds’.” 

“So...no table for two?” the man laughed again as if he were privy to some joke that Kevin didn’t know. When Allison confirmed that, no, she and Kevin weren’t dining alone together for the evening, he turned to go retrieve their takeout order. 

Allison laughed again, making Kevin nudge her just enough for her to stumble into a nearby, empty table. She held up her hands as she straightened up. “Goddamn, sorry!” she said. 

Before Allison dug herself into a deeper hole, the blond man arrived back with their food. He handed Kevin the tray and Kevin suppressed a shiver as their hands made contact. Before Kevin and Allison left, the host brought out a slip of paper with some numbers written on it. He held it out to Kevin. 

“Maybe I’ll see you again sometime?” 

Kevin just stared at the paper, unsure of what was happening. Allison swooped in with her dazzling smile and took the paper from a floundering Kevin. “He’d love to.” She shoved Kevin out the door before Kevin could say anything else stupid. As they walked out the door, Kevin saw the flash go off on someone’s camera. It wasn’t the first time someone had done it tonight alone. The magazines couldn’t get enough of an ex-heiress and the Son of Exy together. Once they got back in Allison’s car, Kevin rounded on her. 

“What the fuck, Allison?” 

She batted his hand aside as she started driving. “Oh, please, I did you a favor.” 

Kevin still had no idea what was going on, and that wasn’t a feeling he appreciated. “And what, exactly, did you do?” 

Allison spared him an amused glance. “You’re kidding, right?” At Kevin’s blank look, she laughed even harder. “Are you serious? Are you telling me that you, Kevin fucking Day, the best striker in the NCAA, has never had someone give you their number? With your cute face? Impossible.” 

Kevin’s face burned. “No,” he mumbled into his hands. “Shut up.” 

Allison waved the paper- the man’s number- under his nose. When he didn’t take it she frowned. “Don’t tell me you don’t swing that way, Kev. Don’t give me that fucking look. Any person with eyes can see the looks of pining you give Jeremy Knox.” 

“I don’t ‘pine’, fuck you.” 

“Mhm. Even if you didn’t  _ pine _ after Jermey, I could smell it on you a mile away.” 

Kevin gave her another blank look. 

She rolled her eyes as they pulled into the Fox Tower parking lot. “Don’t make me spell it out for you. Please, it’ll be embarrassing for both of us.” 

Kevin had no intention of asking her for anything else that night, so he just grabbed the food and stormed up to the dorm. He and Allison were hailed heroes when they brought the Chinese, which improved Kevin’s mood a little. 

Neil frowned when Allison and Kevin returned. “You went out wearing...that?” 

Kevin frowned and looked down. He was wearing his regular joggers and an Armani shirt to go with it. He glanced over at Allison, dressed to the nines per usual, in her Gucci belt and in black heels- 

“They’re Jimmy Choo,” she grinned. 

“Oh my-” Nicky threw his hands up. “Are you- do you guys really not get bombarded by the paps everywhere you go?” 

Kevin’s frowned deepend. “There’s a few photographs, nothing terrible.” 

Allison patted him on the arm. “Mmm, let’s watch the movie, shall we?” 

Turns out, Matt had been the one to choose the movie that night. It was another one of those old ones that Matt couldn’t seem to get enough of. Kevin was confused by it, and told Matt as much at the end of the movie. 

“But, Matt. if they really didn’t want to be caught skipping school, why would the boy go and crash a parade and do that whole musical number?” Kevin threw up his hands. “It makes no sense! He should be caught in a second!” 

Matt chuckled. “Oh, Kevin, wait until I show you the movie about the town that outlawed dancing.” 

Dan shook her head. “No way, we’re doing ‘Dirty Dancing’ first.” 

As Matt went on and on about some movie to Dan, Kevin got up and started going back to his dorm. Neil and Andrew took their classic detour up to the roof, and before Kevin could disappear inside his room, Allison grabbed his arm. She pushed a piece of paper into his palm and bid him goodnight with a knowing wink. 

Kevin didn’t have to look at the paper to know what it was. He went straight to his room before he even risked looking down at the innocent piece of paper. Because that’s all that it really was in the end: a piece of paper. 

But if that was true, then why was Kevin’s breath coming in so short? And so fast? The small numbers scrawled in pen on the back of a business card were nothing. They were everything. They were a reminder. Riko was there, he wouldn't leave, he would do anything to keep Kevin solely focused on Exy, he-

“-is dead.” Kevin jumped at Wymack’s tiny voice coming from his phone. Kevin hadn’t even realized he had dialed Wymack. “Riko is dead, do you hear me? The Yakuza certainly wouldn’t fuck up killing someone.” 

Kevin loosened the death-grip he had on his phone. He calmed his breathing, and Wymack wouldn’t let him hang up until he was sure Kevin was no longer hyperventilating. Before he hung up, Kevin choked out a tired ‘thank you’.

“Don’t mention it,” Wymack replied gruffly. Kevin thought he sounded weird, so he tentatively asked if anything was wrong. “No, nothing’s wrong, Kevin. Just...we’ll talk this weekend, okay? I’ll see you at practice tomorrow.” 

Kevin put down his phone too calmly. After a few more seconds, he picked up his mother’s camera again. 

He went over what had happened today- with the boy giving him his number and all- and then paused, unsure of how to continue. 

“I…” Another pause. He held up the innocent, terrible slip of paper. “I wasn’t allowed to do this. This- this thing? These numbers? This is what Riko hated more than anything. I-I really shouldn’t be complaining. Jean had it so, so much worse than I ever did. Riko...he...he caught us- both of us- one time. He beat us both for it, but Jean...he didn’t just get beat.... And I don’t think Riko ever stopped punishing Jean for it. 

“Jean never told me.” Kevin let loose a bitter laugh. “He would never tell me how many times it happened- how many times Riko arranged for it to happen. He would find whatever teammates he had corrupted to the bone and unlock Jean’s door for them. Sometimes, I heard screaming. But after a while, I...nothing. I heard nothing. But I would always see how hurt Jean was the next day. I tried to help, but I didn’t do enough. I should’ve done so much more but I was...a coward. 

“This paper- these numbers- is something that I would’ve been punished within an inch of death for. When Neil came to Palmetto, he said he didn’t swing. Later, he told us all he didn’t swing because he wasn’t  _ allowed  _ to. I wasn’t allowed to, either. But the difference between Neil and I is...I still did. But I had to...hide it. Kill it. I still do. Riko’s dead and gone and yet-”

And yet. Yet Kevin could feel Riko just behind him right now. He could feel Riko’s hands tearing into him. He could hear Jean’s screams and Riko’s voice saying  _ not natural  _ and  _ freak _ and so, so much more. 

“-he isn't gone at all. I’m keeping him alive here-” he tapped his temple, “- and I don’t know what to do about it, Mom. I escaped, I got out, and everyone tells me he’s gone and I  _ know _ that. But he still stops me. He keeps whispering and putting these thoughts into my head. Like, ‘how do I know that I like...?’ or ‘How  _ could  _ I know?’ It’s not like I could do anything in the Nest. What if I’m just doing it for attention? 

“But then I hear Abby telling me to stop being stupid,” Kevin said. “No one knows, so how could I be doing it for attention? She said that she learned the phrase ‘imposter syndrome’ from Betsy, and told me about it. It made me feel a little better, but…still. I suppose I kind of started thinking about it again when I kept hearing Nicky talk about his parents and Erik and how he kept telling his parents that he  _ knew  _ he loved Erik in a ‘more than friends’ type of way. But if I go down that path, I’ll make things ten times harder for myself when I make Court. There’s too many prejudices and feelings towards people like that. I told Neil as much, but then he went and fucked Andrew, so I guess that goes to show how much he values  _ my  _ input. I feel like that is pretty much the biggest ‘fuck you’ he’s ever given me to date, and there’s a lot he’s given me.” 

He sighed and pulled on the roots of his hair. Now that his mind was wandering down that path, he kept thinking about Thea and how he felt about her. 

Maybe he should talk to Abby before he does anything rash. Or Dan- Dan and Allison were good for stuff like this. Fuck. That’s not a conversation he was looking forward to. It could wait a little, though. At least until he figured out what Wymack wanted to talk about this weekend. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay okay in case you haven't caught on, kevin kinda talks to the camera like it's his mom. does that make sense? anywho, comments and kudos are appreciated!


	4. Neil Becomes Jesus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nicky rubbed his hands and swiped the remote from Kevin. “Oh, I’m so glad you asked.” The TV switched modes so that it reflected the image displayed on Nicky’s phone. “Behold, our team’s new official Twitter header!”   
> “What,” Aaron said, “the fuck.”   
> Kevin was speechless. He’d never seen such blatant disrespect for historical art before. Making a ‘meme’ out of a da Vinci was one thing but this...this was...Kevin didn’t know what to call it.   
>  “Is that Jesus Neil?” Matt put a hand over his mouth. “Can we frame that? Please? Right over the Court?”

“I’m telling you, Dan, this idea is my winning one!” 

“Nicky, no offense, but your last ‘winning idea’ ended up with Aaron almost letting Kevin go off a waterfall.” 

“He wouldn’t have actually done it.” 

“Yes, I would’ve,” Aaron hardly looked up from his phone to answer Nicky. 

“Yes, he would’ve,” Kevin agreed from the lounge couch. 

Nicky huffed in frustration. “Aaron, shut up if you’re not going to contribute something useful to the conversation. Kevin, I’m sorry, it was my bad- in my defense, it was one time.”

Dan rolled her eyes. “And what makes you think Wymack is going to listen to you this time?” 

“Because.” Allison strolled out of the locker room, still braiding back her wet hair. “This time, our  _ Captain  _ is signing off on it.  _ And  _ I’m appealing with Nicky so Wymack can’t say no! Bam. Foolproof.” 

Kevin sighed and paused the Jackals game he had been attempting to watch. There was no hope in trying to gain anything while his teammates were arguing like this. “What’s the idea?” 

Nicky rubbed his hands and swiped the remote from Kevin. “Oh, I’m so glad you asked.” The TV switched modes so that it reflected the image displayed on Nicky’s phone. “Behold, our team’s new official Twitter header!” 

“What,” Aaron said, “the fuck.” 

Kevin was speechless. He’d never seen such blatant disrespect for historical art before. Making a ‘meme’ out of a da Vinci was one thing but this...this was...Kevin didn’t know what to call it. 

“Is that Jesus Neil?” Matt put a hand over his mouth. “Can we frame that? Please? Right over the Court?” 

It was, indeed, Jesus Neil. It was a picture of da Vinci’s ‘Last Supper’ with a few exceptions. Where the disciples’ heads used to be were now badly photoshopped photos of the Foxes’ heads. And, in the middle of it all, was Neil’s face on top of Jesus’. 

“Where did you get that picture of Neil?” Kevin choked out. Jesus Neil was smiling and not scowling, a sure sign that it wasn’t taken from any news interview. Any publicity shots with Neil ended with scathing sarcasm, fist fights, multi-lingual insults, and a few crying interviewers. Kevin was almost one-hundred-percent positive Andrew goaded him to be that way so that Andrew could win any bets on how quickly Neil snapped, but Kevin couldn’t prove a thing. 

“You guys can’t- it’s not- NO!” Aaron buried his head in his hands. “Andrew’s going to kill you if anything! If you won’t listen to me, listen to Andrew!” 

“We won’t be having a problem with Andrew, trust us.” Allison crossed her arms smugly. “Take that, pint-sized.” 

A muscled arm with a black armband wrapped around it was the only thing that stopped Aaron from mutilating Allison on the spot. Andrew’s hair was wet, signaling he just finished showering and Neil would be out soon. Aaron splayed his arms, directing his twin’s attention to the monstrosity on the TV. Andrew’s blank face remained as inscrutable as ever, but his pale eyes flashed triumphantly. “Mm, you used the picture I sent? Good. That’ll make him seem like less of an asshole in the eyes of the public, yes? It’s too late to save him from complete devastation now but...baby steps.” 

“Does Neil not know about this?” Matt grinned when Nicky shook his head. “We won’t tell him until he finds out on his own. Someone will ask him about it and  _ that’s  _ when he finds out. Lord knows Neil won’t be caught dead on any of our social media accounts for no reason.” 

Renee slipped into the room and smiled when she saw the header. “Neil’s coming.” Nicky cursed and just managed to turn the TV off when Neil walked into the lounge. 

His curly auburn hair was in such a state of disarray that it caused a frown to find its way onto Andrew’s face. When Neil looked up innocently, Andrew scoffed and said, “Idiot.”

Neil jerked his chin towards Kevin. “Why are you still here?” When Kevin cocked his head in question, Neil looked to Andrew. “Did you not tell him?” 

Andrew made a gesture that Kevin was pretty sure was considered rude in several countries. “Other matters at hand, junkie.” 

Neil shook his head, giving up on Andrew. “Coach called Andrew since you weren’t picking up. He wants you to head over to their house before we all go for dinner tonight. He didn’t say why, I’m guessing he’s finally gaining some sense and kicking you off the team.” 

“Asshole.” Kevin looked at Andrew. “Give me a ride?” 

Andrew was already fishing his keys out of his back pocket. “Keep up, Day. Always two moves behind. Ironic, for someone who loves chess dearly so.” 

Andrew didn’t stick around- he never did when Kevin was personally called to Wymack’s. Kevin was let into the house by a smiling Betsy. “Oh, hello, Kevin! It’s so nice to see you.” She waved goodbye to Andrew and opened the door wider to allow Kevin inside. 

“Hi, Betsy. Is...Coach here? He called me over.” Kevin entered the house and saw Abby sitting at the kitchen table, nursing a cup of Betsy’s signature cocoa. He hugged her hello and declined Betsy’s offer for a cup of chocolate. Both women were now sitting across the table from Kevin. One studying him in the warm way only a doctor could, and the other smiling at him with a line between her brows. 

Abby patted his hand. “David will be here in a moment, he’s just finishing up a call with Chuck.”

Betsy’s phone buzzed, giving Kevin a break from her relentless- but well-meant- scrutiny. A few moments later, Betsy laughed at whatever had popped up on her phone. Abby glanced over to see what was making her friend laugh so hard, then joined her in the fit of sudden laughter. After Betsy could catch a breath, she looked at Kevin through tear-filled eyes. “Kevin. Is there something your team is planning on discussing with David tonight? Perhaps about official-team media accounts?” 

_ Oh, God.  _ Kevin already knew what was coming. Betsy showed him a text that Andrew had sent her, saying, ‘Bee- should we include you, Abby, and Whatmack on the new Twitter header?’

“Is that Neil as Jesus?” Abby squinted at the picture. “Oh, did Andrew send that in? David was telling me about that the other week.” 

Kevin was lost. Andrew was telling Kevin’s father about a picture of Neil that Andrew had taken? “Um, yeah, I think Nicky and Allison are pitching it to Wymack tonight. What’s up with ‘Whatmack’?” 

Betsy made a vague gesture. “Oh, it’s the same as Andrew's 'stickball’ joke-” 

“ _ Stickball?”  _

“-but Andrew’s line of thinking for this was like in that superhero movie. We all know  _ why- _ Mack. But do we know  _ what- _ Mack?” Betsy chuckled. 

“Oh, please don’t tell me that psycho is using that name again, I told him to keep it between us.” Wymack sat down between Kevin and Abby, sipping his coffee. Kevin was going to wonder if it was his ‘special’ coffee, but Abby had cut both Kevin and Wymack off from their usual alcohol consumption a week ago; Kevin was half-inclined to yell at Betsy for putting the idea in Abby’s head, but he was pretty sure it was Andrew and Neil who told Abby to do it- though Kevin couldn’t think of why Abby would push for them to help her at that specific time. Kevin had no interest in confronting either of them when they could both kill him with a few simple moves- especially if that meant leaving the Foxes’ striker line incomplete. He wasn’t sure if Wymack would appreciate that. “What are we talking about?” 

Abby patted Wymack’s hand. “Oh, you’ll find out soon enough, dear.” 

Wymack sighed. “I was afraid you were going to say that.” 

As if on cue, Betsy got up and excused herself from the table, promising she was one room over if they needed her. 

Wymack nodded and turned to his son. “Kev...I called you here about-” he checked the digital clock on the stovetop. “-forty minutes before the rest of the idiots because we wanted to tell you before we told anybody else.” 

Kevin tensed up. Nothing good came of those words-  _ nothing.  _ “Are you guys moving? Leaving?” 

An angry crease formed between Wymack’s brow, but Kevin now knew that that anger was not directed at him. “No.” 

Abby got up and hugged Kevin from behind his chair. “Of course not, honey. We would never do that to you and everyone else.” 

Kevin’s breathing didn’t slow, so Wymack got to the point: 

“Abby’s pregnant.” 

From Kevin’s perspective, there are two moments: the moment before, and the moment after. Such as the moment before his mom died, then the moment after when he was shipped to Evermore. The moment before Riko shattered his hand, and after, when that line in the sand was forever crossed. The moment before he found out about Nathaniel, and after when Neil and Nathaniel were one and the same. 

And now, the moment before Kevin had a sibling, and after, when his world was forever changed.

“Pregnant…?” Kevin tried to organize his thoughts. He tilted his head back and saw Abby smiling nervously down at him. 

“Yes, Kevin,” Wymack’s words were light, but his voice was anything but. “Pregnant. You do know what that is, right?” 

Kevin tried to find his voice. “Is it...boy or girl?” 

He felt Abby squeeze his shoulder, but Kevin’s gaze was directed at the table. “We don’t know yet, sweetie. We don’t even know if we  _ want  _ to know, but we’re not there yet.” 

“Like I said,” Wymack’s voice drifted throughout the silent kitchen. “We wanted to tell you before we tell the team tonight to give you time to...process.” 

“Process?” Kevin’s laugh sounded shrill and fake even to him. “What’s there to process? My life is owned by the fucking yakuza- this news is small- minuscule!- compared to that.” He looked up and saw Wymack’s gaze dart over his head to where Abby was still standing behind him. “I’m fine!” 

Wymack snorted. “I didn’t know you were stealing Josten’s lines.” 

“No I...really.” he twisted around so he was looking Abby in the face. He hoped his smile didn’t look as weak as it felt. “I’m happy for you guys.” 

Abby pursed her lips, but her eyes were smiling. “You're going to be a brother, Kev.” 

“Step-brother, legally,” Wymack said, downing the rest of his coffee. “But it’s up to you what you want to be called.” 

Suppressing the shiver and panic those words brought, Kevin’s thoughts drifted. “Was Betsy here for damage control?” 

A smirk tugged at the corner of Wymack’s mouth. “We didn’t want Andrew here, so Betsy was the substitute. Turns out, we don’t need her.” Wymack squinted at Kevin, and Kevin knew he wasn’t buying the ‘I’m fine’ song and dance routine he had stolen from Neil. 

Abby squeezed his shoulder. “Honey, are you okay?”

“Yeah I’m...really, I’m happy for you guys.” Kevin hugged Abby. Wymack was still giving him a look that meant he didn’t believe Kevin for a second, but that was Wymack’s problem, not Kevin’s. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> full disclosure: i saw the idea for Jesus Neil Twitter Header months ago on someone's hc where the foxes get social media and for the life of me I can't find it again so I'm super sorry for not being able to credit the source  
> comments and kudos are awesome!


	5. Aaron (almost) Gets a Butter Knife to the Gut

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Oh, for Christ’s sake.”   
>  Nicky grinned with tear-stained cheeks. “Speaking of; Allison, don’t we need to talk to Coach?”   
>  Wymack looked back and gave Kevin a helpless look. Kevin scoffed and offered no help, which didn’t make Wymack any happier. He huffed and looked back at Nicky and Allison. “What is it?”   
>  Nicky spread his arms. “Oh, Coach.” He attempted to wrap an arm around Wymack’s shoulders and led him into the dining room. “Have a little faith.”   
>  “Is Nicky trying to convince Coach to adopt a pet fox as a live mascot again?” Neil asked. “Because, if so, I have that under control.”

Betsy left shortly before everyone else arrived, claiming she didn’t want to make any of them feel awkward. When the rest of the original Foxes arrived, Abby put them to work: Andrew and Renee on cooking duty, Matt and Allison in charge of picking the after-dinner movie, Dan and Kevin on dishes, and Nicky had declared himself Lord of the Music. Much to Kevin’s amusement, Neil and Aaron were paired up to set the table. So far, under Wymack’s watchful eye, neither had smashed a plate over the other’s head...yet. 

Kevin wasn’t sure how long that would last.

“Aaron, I swear to God, if you put the napkins on that side of the plate again, I’ll-” 

“You’ll what, shortie?” 

“You’re SHORTER THAN ME.” 

“THAT DOESN’T CHANGE THE FACT THAT YOU’RE FIVE FUCKING THREE. THAT’S SHORTER THAN THE AVERAGE HEIGHT OF A WOMAN.” 

“WELL F-” 

“Guys!” Dan handed the plate she had been drying over to Kevin and stalked over to Neil and Aaron. “Everyone just take a breath, okay? You’re both really fucking short. I mean, there’s short, then there’s really fucking short. Arguing won’t change the fact you’re both minuscule. So, apologize to each other. Right now.” 

Neil and Aaron mumbled apologies to each other. A nagging voice in the back of Kevin’s head told him that Dan could be the baby’s big sister instead of him- he could never do what she just did, not in a million years. 

Dan smiled smugly. “Now hug.” 

Neil leaped away from Aaron, who was putting as much distance between him and Neil as possible “I’ll hug Neil,” Aaron said, “when I’m cold in my grave.” 

Neil palmed a butter knife and twirled it extravagantly. “That can be arranged.” Neil’s smile was nothing short of vicious and promising. Kevin shivered. He always forgot that Neil could kill them all without breaking a sweat. The rest of the team was side-eying Neil now, too. Neil had never told them  _ exactly  _ what he’s capable of, so the world came to a stand-still whenever Neil displayed even a crumb of his talents. 

Andrew stepped between his twin and his...Neil. Nicky had called Neil Andrew’s boyfriend only once, and he never made the mistake again- Kevin never addressed Neil as Andrew’s boyfriend, and vice versa. 

He liked his kneecaps too much to take that risk. 

Andrew tugged on Neil’s hoodie and spouted a few German phrases. Aaron’s face flushed, but Neil rolled his eyes and returned in a scathing tone. Andrew smirked and said “207%”, then turned to his twin. 

Kevin expected Aaron’s body to hit the floor with a dead  _ thud,  _ but Andrew spoke in German again. Aaron bit his lip, then replied in a curious, soft tone. 

“Not here,” Andrew told him. “Another time.” 

Kevin had no interest in getting involved in the twin’s affairs- it was messy. He would ask Neil at one point, just to make sure that the Minyards would still play together. Kevin knew they would go to the ends of the Earth for one another, but they showed it in...well, perhaps not the best ways. 

“Alright, now that that’s over.” Dan gestured to Kevin. “Keep washing, dish boy.” 

Kevin muttered about ungrateful people, and how he didn’t see  _ Nicky _ doing anything to help. Nicky gasped from the countertop he was perched on. “ _ Rude! _ R-O-O-D. Rude! _ ”  _

Dan smiled and nudged Kevin lightly. “Hey,” she said softly. “Are you okay?” 

Kevin gave her a tight smile. She dropped the subject, but didn’t stop looking at him, even during dinner. 

Andrew and Renee had the talent for cooking that the rest of the team lacked heavily. During a past bake off, the team had come to accept this fact when Aaron and Matt had caused a small fire while Renee and Andrew’s pie had come out exquisitely. 

The dinner was perfect, and within minutes they were all stuffed and all the food was nowhere to be seen. Abby thanked Andrew and Renee for another  _ delightful  _ dinner, and asked Matt what movie he and Allison had chosen. 

“Well,” Matt began. “Last time Allison picked  _ Clueless,  _ so I got to pick this time. Actually, that’s a lie. I got to suggest movies this time. Allison approved  _ Inception _ for tonight, though, so I half-won.” 

Wymack rolled his eyes and threw a look at Abby that Kevin was sure everyone else caught. When Abby shook her head, the matter was dropped. Kevin supposed Wymack was asking whether or not Abby wanted to tell them before or after the movie that she was with child. 

Kevin was forced to admit that the intricate plot, dialogue, and characterization in  _ Inception _ made it a pretty decent movie. Allison was talking to Dan about someone named ‘Young Leo’ the entire time, and Matt shook Kevin’s arm anytime something scary, funny, or astonishing happened- which was the entire movie.

Kevin found that he didn’t mind it as much as he would’ve last year. 

When the TV was off and the popcorn bowls were clean, Abby called them all back into the living room. Kevin stood off to the side, leaning against the wall behind Abby and Wymack so he could see his teammates’ faces. 

Abby was the one to break the news this time:

“I’m pregnant.” 

It was pandemonium. Allison screamed and turned to Renee, whose smile was calm, but happy. Dan leapt up and hugged Wymack while Matt hugged Abby. Neil looked triumphant, and Kevin could’ve sworn he saw Aaron smile. Nicky was crying. Voices overlapped and blurred together in Kevin’s head.

“Nicky, are you crying?” 

“Shut up, Allison, I’m sweating through my eyes.” 

“Aaron, oh my god, you have emotions?” 

“Dan, I swear-” 

“Matt, please don’t crush the pregnant lady.” 

“Sorry, Coach, I-” 

“No, Neil, we’re not-.” 

“But,  _ An _ drew-” 

Once it died down, there was one person who Wymack was looking at. Andrew dragged a thumb across his lips and quirked an eyebrow. 

“Yes, Coach?” 

Wymack sighed. “You have something to say, Minyard?” 

Andrew twirled a hand lazily through the air. “Just a question, a couple of suggestions.” 

“What?” 

“Can we name the kid ‘Whatmack’?”

“Oh, for Christ’s sake.” 

Nicky grinned with tear-stained cheeks. “Speaking of; Allison, don’t we need to talk to Coach?” 

Wymack looked back and gave Kevin a helpless look. Kevin scoffed and offered no help, which didn’t make Wymack any happier. He huffed and looked back at Nicky and Allison. “What is it?” 

Nicky spread his arms. “Oh, Coach.” He attempted to wrap an arm around Wymack’s shoulders and led him into the dining room. “Have a little faith.” 

“Is Nicky trying to convince Coach to adopt a pet fox as a live mascot again?” Neil asked. “Because, if so, I have that under control.” 

Matt’s eyes widened. “What? Neil, you- you know what, nevermind. Nevermind! I don’t want to know.” 

Abby joined Kevin at his post on the wall. “Is there a live fox living in your dorm room, Kevin?” 

Kevin shrugged helplessly. “There could be and I’d never know. It’s Neil- he hid a mob war from us for months.” 

“True...” 

When Wymack, Nicky, and Allison entered the room, Wymack’s shoulders were shaking and his hand was over his mouth in an attempt to hide his silent laughter from Neil, which didn’t work. However, Neil, thinking it was about the fox, didn’t ask any questions. 

Kevin really, really,  _ really  _ needed to see just how Neil had ‘handled’ that situation. 

***********************************************************************************

“Hey.” Dan tugged on Kevin’s arm. “Wait here just for a sec.” The rest of the team walked ahead of them into Fox Tower, leaving Dan and Kevin alone. “Let’s walk and talk.” 

Kevin twisted to face her as they walked shoulder-to-shoulder. “What?” 

“Are you-” She bit her lip and tried again. “That’s why they called you over there early, isn’t it?” 

“Why are you asking me this?” said Kevin, not unkindly- just tired. His nerves were shot, his energy drained. “Does it matter?”

“Look, Kevin,” she said, “I know last year was...rough...but, come on. I thought we got past this.”

“Dan, I’m just- I’m okay, okay?” 

“At least you didn’t pull a Neil this time.” 

“Is that a verb now? Is that what’s happening?” 

Dan raised an eyebrow and gave him a stern look. “Tell me.” 

Maybe it was her ‘Captain’ voice, or maybe it was Kevin’s exhaustion, but he relented and told her what happened before the rest of the Foxes came over. At the end of it, Dan asked only one thing- not so much a question, but a statement:

“You don’t like it.” 

Kevin shrugged helplessly. “I-I’m happy for them, Dan. I am! But-” Words failed him. “Dan, the way you wrangle the bastards on this team? That’s something I can never fucking do. What’re Abby and Wymack expecting from me? I can’t do what you do.” 

“Hey, Kev. It’s okay. I- Jesus. Good to know the drinking isn’t what made you face-plant at night.” She wrapped an arm around his waist as he stumbled and almost ran into a Mercedes. “Okay. Kevin, listen. Wymack is...Wymack. This is the man who only recruited the lowest of the lows, and even when that threatened his Class I status, he didn’t stop. He won’t stop looking out for the team now that he’s going to have a kid.” 

Kevin knew that. Just like he knew that he couldn’t be a brother to the baby. 


	6. Kevin and Aaron Discuss Julius Caesar

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Neil says biology is boring,” Aaron grumbled. “But the man is literally majoring in a language.”   
>  “Was,” Kevin corrected. “He changed to Mathematical Sciences this year. He’s not half-bad at doing Nicky’s homework for him.”  
> Aaron pointed a pencil at him in accusation. “Et tu, Brute?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> mentions of past trauma and abuse

The library at Palmetto state was two floors high with a Starbucks in the middle of it all. There were all types of books there: fantasy, fiction, science-fiction, romance- none of those piqued Kevin’s interests. It was a quiet place; the only people there were exhausted college students and studious people, which meant that none of the Foxes were interested in going there. 

Well, all but two. 

“Neil says biology is boring,” Aaron grumbled. “But the man is literally majoring in a language.” 

“Was,” Kevin corrected. “He changed to Mathematical Sciences this year. He’s not half-bad at doing Nicky’s homework for him.”

Aaron pointed a pencil at him in accusation. “ _ Et tu, Brute? _ ” 

“Fun fact: most people think Caesar's last words are him sadly looking up at the man who he raised as a son while the man stabs him. In the late 20th century, someone brought up the fact that Shakespeare’s Latin translation of the words makes the translation of Caesar's last words seem that way. In reality, if you look at the original language, the first words of the phrase were often seen on curse tablets back then. Because of this, Caesar wasn’t crying and saying ‘And you, too, Brutus, my dear friend?’. Caesar was  _ actually  _ saying ‘See you in Hell, punk’.”

Kevin splayed his hands over their forgotten English books. “I mean, it makes sense coming from a man who was captured by pirates, held for ransom, and then demanded that the ransom be higher because he was ‘worth more’. Those poor pirates.” 

Aaron nodded. “So, my main takeaway from that spiel is that I could say that to Andrew and he wouldn’t know what it really meant?” 

“Yes.” 

Aaron and Kevin had met up to study for English, but soon forgot about it in favor of talking to each other about things the other Foxes would shoot them for. It had become a weekly thing for them, a way to escape the stupidity of their teammates. 

“So, if Dante said this-” Kevin jabbed his finger at the book. “-but he  _ meant  _ that-” he pointed to the notes of his teacher’s speech. “-then what the fuck is this?” The study guide landed with a  _ smack  _ on the table. Glancing up at Aaron, Kevin said, “I’m sorry, Aaron, is your phone more important than me telling you how fucking stupid this is?” 

Aaron smiled at his phone, oblivious. Kevin smacked him, and Aaron cursed. “What?” 

Kevin hesitated. “Who...were you texting Katelyn?” 

“Why do you want to know?” Aaron scowled. “None of you have ever cared before except when...hang on, are you trying to get insider information so you can win a new bet about me and Katelyn?” 

“First of all, it’s ‘Katelyn and I’, you heathen. Second of all, no! It’s just...I can’t remember the last time I talked to Thea. If I ever did.” Kevin mentally kicked himself. This was the worst time to talk about it, and Aaron was the absolute  _ worst  _ Fox to talk to about it. 

But the words were already out. No taking them back. Kevin blamed the three hours of sleep he had gotten last night. 

Aaron sighed and put down his phone. “So, we’re doing this now, then? Okay.” Another sigh. “Okay. Listen, dude. I know that shit happened in Evermore. I know it seriously fucked you up, and you  _ definitely  _ didn’t have any healthy, long-term relationships while in there.

“I know that I didn’t find out about Thea until a few months ago,” Aaron said. “But if you want my opinion? In my limited experience, you guys are a little fucked up. Who knows, maybe it works for you. But, yeah, I was texting Katelyn. We talk a lot, and we see each other frequently. That’s what a lot of people do. But if ‘long-distance’ and no communication works for you guys, hey, more power to you.”

Kevin thought for another moment. “Do you- Is it….How do you know you like Katelyn?” 

“Holy shit, Kevin. You’re killing me.” Aaron saw Kevin’s flinch and lowered his voice. “Sorry, no, that question was fine. Um, I don’t know. When I see- let’s say Dan- I don’t want to immediately run up and hug her and kiss her or whatever. When I see Katelyn it’s like I’m being pulled towards her.” Aaron’s expression got distant. “She makes me happy. She’s there when I want her and gives me space when I want it. Katelyn’s always been there for me when I needed it- like during the trial over the summer. If it wasn’t for her, I think I would’ve gone crazy.” 

The trial had been nasty business. Only the Foxes who had witnessed the event- Kevin, Neil, and the cousins- had been allowed to attend. They each had to give a testimony. Kevin and Nicky had it easy. Neil was borderline disorderly on the stand, but toned it down to give Andrew an easier time. 

Andrew had gone dulled-eyed and blank-faced for days. During his recount of the events, he had spoken in such a monotone voice it only added to the absolute horror of the entire ordeal. Later, when Kevin and Neil were in the kitchen at some ungodly hour during the week following the trial, Neil had told him someone named Cass Spear had been attending the trial- someone that had made everything worse for Andrew. 

Aaron himself had barely held it together. Both of the twins had been worse than walking tragedies, but Andrew had known how to hide it. Aaron… had done his best. It was true that Katelyn had held him together- she had kept him company and whisked him away when it got to be too much. 

“Kevin. Earth to Kevin.” Aaron snapped Kevin back to the present. “You good, man?” 

“Yeah, yeah. I’m good.” 

“So...you and Thea?” 

Kevin buried his head in his hands. “Shut up, I don’t  _ know. _ To be honest, Aaron, I wasn’t planning on even mentioning this to you, so…” 

Aaron snorted. “I’m honored, Your Majesty.” 

“Fuck you.” 

“Go to hell.” 

“Aw,” Nicky said, looming over their table. “How cute.” 

Aaron wrinkled his nose and threw up his hands. “For Christ’s sake-” 

Nicky held up a finger. “Neil’s sake.” 

“Nicky, I swear to fucking God….” 

Nicky backed away from his cousin. “Slow down, Aaron. I was just getting coffee and saw you guys. Matt’s outside, you guys want a ride to practice?” 

Aaron gave Nicky a weighted look, but eventually, his perpetual need for a ride to the stadium won out against his annoyance with Nicky.

Thank god for practice. After  _ kindly _ instructing the team on everything they were doing wrong and yelling at that asshole Jack a few times, Kevin had all but completely forgotten about his and Aaron’s conversation earlier. 

But, per usual, the bliss didn’t last. 

It all came rushing back to him in the shower. With a gasp, he shut off the cold water and stumbled to change back into his gear. He raised a few eyebrows when people came out of the showers and found him still wet and fully ready for more exy.

Andrew and Neil, in particular, attempted to hang back to get Kevin alone. But, to everyone’s utter surprise, Aaron was the one who came to Kevin’s rescue. 

“Leave him be,” said Aaron. “If he wants to, he can drive himself into the ground with exhaustion. We shouldn’t stop him.” 

Andrew’s blank gaze shifted almost imperceptibly. It was so small that it was almost impossible to see. But Kevin had learned to read Andrew better and better in the past few months, and so had Aaron. 

“Don’t do that.” Aaron shook his head.

“Then don’t withhold information from me.” Andrew bared his teeth. “It’s simple, really.” 

“Guys.” Nicky held up a hand. “Chill out.” 

The Minyard’s stared each other down, and neither backed down. Matt was the one who had to step between them. 

“Come on, we’re ordering tacos tonight.” Matt shouldered his bag and picked up Neil’s along with his. Tossing one last look back at Kevin, Matt left the Court, with Neil- and eventually the cousins- following close behind. 

Even hurling a ball at top speed at a goal didn’t help Kevin. His thoughts spun and spun and spun in a circle. He shot and hit exactly on the left edge of the goal. His next shot did the same on the right. Kevin’s shots were methodical: he started wide and slowly narrowed in until he struck dead-center in the rectangular goal. 

Should he make more of an effort with Thea? Could they talk this over together? But then again, Kevin thought, talking had never been their strong suit. 

Kevin thought back to when Thea had first drawn his attention. She was aggressive, strong, and ruthless- a complete and utter threat to Kevin on the Court; they matched each other blow-for-blow.

But...was that the only reason Kevin was attracted to her? She was gorgeous, sure, but Kevin didn’t consider that a ‘reason’, more like an ‘added bonus’. 

Every time the ball bounced off of the plexiglass, Kevin mentally listed the pros and cons.

_ Twack!  _ A shot to the left. 

She can handle Kevin’s intensity on court. 

_ Bam!  _ A shot to the right.

She  _ matched  _ Kevin’s on-court intensity. 

_ Twack! _ Closer in on the left. 

They never talked. Kevin supposed if you liked someone, you’d want to talk to them at some point. 

_ Bam!  _ A few inches to the right. 

She knew about the Raven’s ‘hive mind’ and therefore knew why Kevin did some things the way he did. 

_ Twack! _

She was part of the hive-mind, too. It was impossible to heal a stone with a stone, or whatever the saying was. 

_ Bam! _

Thea is all Kevin knows. 

_ Twack! _

He’s never been with anyone else. 

_ Bam! _

Thea is safe- she’s what he knows. 

_ Twack! _

And it was hurting Kevin to hold on to her. 

As soon as the thought had formed, Kevin couldn’t simply  _ un _ think it; the damage was done, the seed had been planted. 

His racket clattered to the ground. “Shit.” He took a deep breath, and when that didn’t help anything, he repeated, “ _ Shit. _ ”

The words needed to be said aloud, but Kevin sure as hell wasn’t calling and whining to his teammates about any of this, and it was too depressing to say it to no one but the open air and his own ears. Thankfully, there was another option. 

The camera case was a comforting weight in his hand, and even more comforting was the blinking red light that indicated it was recording Kevin. 

After grabbing the camera from his stuff, he’d returned to the comforting, plexiglass-encased Foxhole Court. Neil usually sat on the fox paw, in the center of everything, but Kevin much preferred his back to be against the plexiglass at midcourt. He had been talking for five minutes already, and he’d been talking in circles the whole time, stalling the inevitable. 

“Thea’s all I know. And that’s comforting, but that’s why I need to let her go,” said Kevin. “The Raven’s and Evermore were all I knew until I finally ran away. This shouldn’t be- isn’t- any different. She is familiar and forever tied to my life back at Evermore. 

“She’s a Raven,” he continued. “She may not be on the team anymore, but...she still wears their number. I’m not...I’m not sure if she knew or knows the kind of stuff that went on at Edgar Allen. If she doesn’t, good for her- I’m not telling her otherwise. I hope she doesn’t know and never will. But if she does and she’s still clinging to that number- to that mindset- then that’s not something I can handle. At least, I don’t think so. It sure as hell wouldn’t be good for me. Honestly, I don’t know how I’d explain to her where eighty-percent of my salary is going in the future. I can’t tell her, ‘Oh, hey, funny story’.... I guess I can tell her I’m having an affair with Jeremy. I think she’d buy that. 

“But that’s not a good enough reason to break up with her, right?” Kevin made a fist with his left hand and watched the light reflect off of the thin, brutal scars there. The scars Riko had made. “I don’t know anything about this. I never knew anything outside of the Nest, so by default, I know nothing of relationships. It’s not even like I’m considering breaking up with her!” Even as he said it, in his mind's eye flashed various people: the host whose number he still had, Jeremy, that girl in his Ancient History class, Jean…. “I just don’t believe that what we have is working. I can’t speak for her, and I don’t know how she’d react- and that’s  _ if _ I go through with this.” 

Kevin glanced at his phone staring up at him from the ground beside him. “Oh, who am I kidding. Fuck it.” He picked up the phone and dialed Thea’s number. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> truly, I heard about the original meaning for "et tu, brute" on social media and accepted it instantly, but here are two articles that back it up: 
> 
> http://philipschaefer.com/2019/01/16/et-tu-brute-or-see-you-in-hell-punk/
> 
> https://anticfables.org/see-you-in-hell-punk/
> 
> and honestly the story about Caesar getting captured by pirates and being so insufferable that it was considered 'bad luck for the pirates' and how he demanded his ransom be raised from 20 talents to 50 talents is one of my favorite historical stories/factoids to tell and here's an article about it so you know I'm not just spouting lies (I could be but at least an article agrees with my lies):
> 
> https://www.britannica.com/story/the-time-julius-caesar-was-captured-by-pirates#:~:text=In%2075%20BCE%20a%20band,to%20study%20oratory%20in%20Rhodes.&text=Caesar%20made%20himself%20at%20home,when%20he%20wanted%20to%20sleep.
> 
> I loved including these because, let's be honest, both Aaron and Kevin are huge nerds and need to escape the stupidity of their teammates because both of them tried to rant one (1) time about something interesting and they got banned from doing it ever again so they just do it to each other. Kevin is a huge history nerd and writes essays like 'why brian was wrong and I was right: Romanov family edition' and I will die on that hill


	7. Kevin Eats Ice Cream (no, really)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Neil’s mouth twitched. “Are you gonna have more?” 
> 
> This was why Kevin had never had sugar like this- it was addicting. “I mean, I guess...” 
> 
> “I already got what I wanted, you don’t need to go furth-” 
> 
> Kevin picked up the spoon again, “No, I’m gonna.” 

He closed the door to his, Andrew, and Neil’s suite with the least amount of noise possible, but of course, Andrew, Neil, and, surprisingly, Robin were upon him immediately. 

“Mmm,” Andrew hummed. “Welcome, welcome, His Royal Highness. Why have you decided to grace us with your presence on this fine evening?” 

“Allison bet you wouldn’t be home until at least one in the morning,” Neil said in lieu of hello. “Nicky bet you wouldn’t come back at all- you’d crash at Wymack’s with a bottle of scotch wrapped in your arms like a teddy bear.” 

Kevin rubbed the crease that had formed between his brows. “That’s comforting. Glad to know you all have a vote of confidence in my sobriety.” He dropped his bag in his room and came back into the kitchen to scrounge for some type of food that wouldn’t give him diabetes. 

Robin gestured to the cereal box at the foot of the bean bag she was sitting on. “You can have some of this.” 

“Has Nicky stuck his hands in it recently?” 

“...”

“That’s what I thought.” 

Andrew leaned on the doorframe. “Aaron had the strangest explanation for us. Something about you, him, and a doomed conversation at the library? Strange in the sense that he wouldn’t tell us any more than that, though.” 

Kevin finally found a vegetable in the fridge but sighed when he saw that it was inedible. “What if I don’t want to explain?” 

“Nice try.” Neil scoffed. 

“Fucking hell, is there no edible food in this entire place?” Kevin slammed the fridge door. “How the hell are you both not dead? Seriously, how do you survive? There is not one apple, orange, or banana in here that hasn’t been sacrificed in the name of ‘Extreme Baseball’ with Matt and Nicky, but there are thirty pints of Andrew’s favorite ice cream in the freezer.” 

“Your point being?” 

Kevin muttered about nutritional values and diabetes and cancer until he found some pasta that he deemed acceptable enough to eat. Neil wasn’t letting the matter rest, though. 

“What was it? Did Ichirou or Tetsuji attempt to make contact?” Neil’s blue eyes were unnerving- Kevin had to look away. 

“No, no. I’d be drunk into a stupor if they had been.” 

“You’re sober. Cut off. That’s not changing.” 

Kevin always knew that Neil and Andrew had had a hand in the matter. “Fucking assholes.”

“You would’ve died of liver cancer at the ripe age of twenty-seven,” Neil said. “You know what, I should’ve let you.” 

“Thanks.” 

“If it’s not the motherfucking yakuza, what is it?” 

“I called Thea.” 

Silence. Unnerving, loaded, shocked silence. Neil’s mouth was shut for once in his life, and Andrew was looking at Kevin in a manner that Kevin had never seen before- he didn’t know how to read it. 

“I-” Neil coughed. “Um. Okay. Yeah.” 

“If I knew that’s what it took to shut you up, I would’ve done it a long time ago.” Kevin shoved another spoonful of pasta into his mouth. 

Robin cocked her head to the side and assessed him in the way only a girl could. “How did she take it?” 

“Fine. It went fine.” 

“She won’t be mailing you like an animal carcass, right?” When they all looked at her, she held up her hands. “It’s happened! I’ve seen it. Also” - she pointed to Kevin, still eating his pasta- “the fact that you’re eating penne pasta with a spoon and not a fork is a hate crime.” 

“Shut up.” 

"So, um….” Neil gave up and looked to Andrew for help. 

Andrew cocked his head. “Will we be hearing from Thea anytime soon?” 

“No.” Kevin didn’t know how he felt, or how he  _ should  _ feel. That was one of his last connections to the Ravens and to Riko. He missed Thea, but he was glad he had finally done it. During the call, Thea had talked a lot at first, but still quieted down and accepted it in the end. Kevin didn’t know if they were on good terms, bad terms, or neither. Thea had ended the call by complimenting his season and wishing him well, so he hoped that that meant she was still an acquaintance in his professional Exy career. It was a weight off his shoulders, a hole in his gut. He was falling, he was flying, he had two feet on the ground. 

“Shame, she would’ve been useful for the apocalypse.” Andrew, cryptic as always, pushed off the door frame finally. “I’m going to get food and the Netflix password for a movie from Matt and Aaron. You Exy Assholes are going to  _ sit _ and  _ watch _ it. Robin, come and help?” 

Neil watched Andrew and Robin leave and turned back to Kevin when the door closed behind the man. “Why did you do it?” 

“Funny enough,” Kevin said. “Aaron’s the one who made me realize how fucked it was.” 

Neil’s brows shot up and hid in his hair. “Aaron? You’re kidding me.”

“Speaking of Aaron.” Kevin lowered his voice. “What’s going on with him and Andrew?” 

“Surprised you noticed,” Neil commented. The wry look on his face meant he knew Kevin was deflecting Neil’s questions that he wanted to ask about Thea. “They’re trying. They’re honest-to-god trying. They both go to Betsy once a week, as you know. Andrew sees her for separate sessions, and Aaron goes to another therapist separately, too. It’s working for them- slowly, of course, but it’s making a dent. They’ll never be what they could’ve been if Tilda hadn’t been the way she was, but I don’t think they’ll be like they have been either. Andrew’s even thinking about maybe letting Katelyn come to one of the team nights in Columbia.” 

“You’re shitting me.” 

“Not anytime too soon, and she definitely won’t be staying the night, but-” Neil spread his hands palms-up. “-it’s something.” 

Choosing his next words wisely, Kevin asked quietly, “Why did Andrew take the Minyard’s last name? He hated Tilda, and his last name was ‘Doe’ for years; he didn’t give a crap, so why did he take ‘Minyard’?” It was something that had been bothering Kevin for a while. 

Neil flicked his eyes up to him. “That’s what you’re thinking about now? Really?” 

“Yes, and is there a problem with that Mr. my-locker-exploded-with-blood-that-one-time-but-all-I-cared-about-was-my-uniform-inside?” 

“Don’t tell me you weren’t thinking the same thing.”   
“Oh, don’t get me wrong.” Kevin filled up a glass of water and downed it in one go. “I completely and utterly respect you for that decision, but I’m trying to prove a point here.” 

“Ask Andrew if you’re so curious.” 

Through talking with Aaron, Kevin had gotten the feeling that Andrew hadn’t done it for anyone but the one person who looked exactly like him, but if Neil didn’t know or ask Andrew, he wasn’t going to enlighten him. “You don’t know, do you?” 

“Shut the fuck up.” 

Kevin triumphant and Neil defeated, they sat in comfortable silence for a few minutes until Kevin couldn’t stand the feeling of Neil’s eyes darting over to him every second. “What?” 

“You did it.” Neil sounded impressed and surprised. 

“I did what?” 

“Broke up with her,” Neil said, then frowned. “Or… proposed to her…? I don’t know, I’m honestly a little lost here.” 

Kevin let out a bark of laughter. “Christ, Neil.” He was sure Nicky would make a joke of that if he were here now. “You were right the first time.” 

Neil looked a tad uncomfortable. “And are you...sad?” 

Kevin and Neil were both entirely hopeless at these types of conversations and had both been told so- numerous times. “I don’t fucking know. What I really want is some goddamn alcohol.” 

Standing up, Neil went to the fridge and opened the freezer. “The fact that you’re cursing more than usual tells me all I need to know, Kevin.” He took out a pint of ice cream, a spoon, and placed it in front of Kevin who inched away from it like it was poison. “I’m not getting you alcohol, so you’re eating this.” 

“No.” 

“You broke up with your girlfriend- wait, was she your girlfriend? Okay, whatever. My point is if you can do that, you can eat some ice cream.” 

“Absolutely not.” 

“If anything, do it to spite Andrew, who’s about to force us to watch a movie.” 

“You can’t make me.” 

“Kevin.” Neil met his eyes. “Andrew’s about to make us watch a movie. A movie that’s not about exy, history, or any sports in general. It’s either going to be ninety-percent CGI or really bad old-school special effects.” He splayed his hands on the table. “Think about it.” 

Kevin pried the lid viciously off the pint and shoved a spoonful of it into his mouth, not thinking too hard about what he was doing. It was...sweet. Cold and sweet. It left a good taste on his tongue. He hid all of this from Neil, of course, not giving him the satisfaction of seeing Kevin enjoy sugar. “Happy now?” 

Neil’s mouth twitched. “Are you gonna have more?” 

This was why Kevin had never had sugar like this- it was addicting. “I mean, I guess...” 

“I already got what I wanted, you don’t need to go furth-” 

Kevin picked up the spoon again, “No, I’m gonna.” 

“Is there any particular reason you’re letting Kevin waste my ice cream, or do you feel like going to sleep with a knife buried in your gut tonight?” Andrew had returned to the dorm alone and dumped a bag of pretzels and a microwave packet of popcorn on the table. He gestured to Kevin, who was currently holding a spoon devoid of ice cream. To Andrew, who knew Kevin didn’t eat ice cream, it probably seemed like a waste of food. 

Neil looked smug when he said, “He’s actually eating it.” 

Andrew blinked, for once at loss for words. Neil’s smug look only grew, and Kevin chucked the bruised apple he had found earlier at Neil. “It’s not like you climbed Mount Everest.” 

“Yeah, that would’ve been easier.” 

“Okay, you little shit-” 

Andrew rolled his eyes and held up a hand. “This is sadder than the time the hockey team tried to flirt with Allison. We’re watching a movie now. Robin said she had no interest in watching a movie that you would complain about the entire time and stayed with Matt and Aaron.” 

Neil and Kevin did, obviously, mumble and groan and complain the entire time Andrew attempted to select a movie, but Andrew didn’t relent. 

The movie selected was a bunch of fake guns and weapons, CGI, and bland acting. It was absolutely horrible, predictable, cheesy, and painful to watch.

It was exactly the thing Kevin loved to pick apart and complain about. 

“That gun is wrong,” Neil stage-whispered to him. 

“The blood is too light for that deep of an injury,” Kevin remarked later in the movie. 

“Their stance is terrible, he’d be killed in an instant.” 

“He can’t even muster up some tears, that’s a pathetic love confessi- oh, he’s dead, thank god.” 

Even Andrew would frown once in a while and comment on something insubstantial. “That big of an aircraft wouldn’t fall like that; the motion’s all wrong.” 

By the end of the movie, various pillows were scattered around the room from both Andrew’s failed attempts to muffle Neil, and all three of them throwing the pillows at the TV. Kevin had to hand it to Andrew- Andrew only enjoyed those movies a little more than Kevin and Neil, but he had known exactly how to get Kevin’s mind off of Thea. A distant part in Kevin’s sleepy brain commented on how different it was from Andrew’s tactics to calm him down last year, but before he could think much of it he was passed out in his dark, peaceful room. 


	8. Kevin Goes Christmas Shopping

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I didn’t know ‘fuck’ could be used so many times in one breath- color me impressed. Is it because you’re on the East coast? Is that it?” Jeremy replied lightly. “Aren’t you in public? I can hear the background noise.” 
> 
> Kevin ran a hand over his face and sipped his coffee. “Never too early for kids to expand their vocabulary.” 
> 
> “Hear, hear!” Came Alvarez's voice in the background.
> 
> “Don’t encourage him,” Jeremy told them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: vague allusions to past suicide attempts

The holidays were fast approaching, and thus, Kevin ran into a problem. Two, terrifying words had been sent out to the Fox group chat (dubbed “The David Wymack Fanclub”): Secret Santa. The words made Kevin’s stomach turn over, and when he drew his person’s name out of the hat his feeling didn’t ease. He had no idea what he was supposed to get Allison, despite all of their time together, which is how he ended up asking Jeremy about it on the phone in Starbucks on Friday.

“Secret Santa should be fucking  _ outlawed _ ,” Kevin hissed. “This is outrageous. Blasphemy.” 

Jeremy laughed in his ear. “Have you even  _ tried _ just looking around in a store or a mall to get ideas, Kev? I mean, it’s not that hard.” 

“Yeah, for you, maybe.” 

“Have you asked any of your teammates for help? Y’know, the people who live with you and could actually offer real insight instead of the man that lives three-thousand miles away?” 

“...no.” 

“Why not?” 

“None of them have asked for help, so why should I?” 

“Kevin, I guarantee they’ve asked for help. I hate to say it, but it’s just the fact that none of them have gone to YOU for help.” 

“It’s probably because of your sweet, sweet personality,” Laila called out over the line. Kevin knew he was on speaker with Laila Dermott, Alverez, and Jeremy Knox at Jeremy and Jean’s dorm at USC. 

Kevin mulled this over. “Fuck.  _ Fuck! _ Why the fuck is this so fucking hard?” 

“I didn’t know ‘fuck’ could be used so many times in one breath- color me impressed. Is it because you’re on the East coast? Is that it?” Jeremy replied lightly. “Aren’t you in public? I can hear the background noise.” 

Kevin ran a hand over his face and sipped his coffee. “Never too early for kids to expand their vocabulary.” 

“Hear, hear!” Came Alvarez's voice in the background.

“Don’t encourage him,” Jeremy told them. “Hey, are we gonna see you at the banquet in a week?” 

Kevin’s stomach rolled- not as much as it had last year, but still, enough. “Yeah, yeah. You’ll see us.” This year, instead of doing the district-wide banquets, there was going to be a huge national one in Dallas next week. The Foxes had done well during the fall season, and they would thankfully play again in the spring. “Hey, is Jean coming?” 

Kevin could feel Jeremy thinking about how to best answer the question. “Yes, he’s coming. Flying out with us next Friday for the Banquet on Saturday. We’re staying two nights, how about you?” 

“Same as you.” Kevin paused. “How is he?” 

Jeremy waited for a beat before responding. “He’s at a...doctor’s appointment right now. He’ll be back shortly.” 

Alarms went off in Kevin’s head. “What? Is he- did he try to- is he okay?” 

“No, no, he’s good. He’s all good. It’s just a scheduled visit. You can ask him more about it next week.” 

Alvarez spoke up, “Kevin, what were you about to say? Did he try to...what?” 

A  _ twunk _ was heard as either Jermey or Laila presumably shoved a pillow in Alvarez’s mouth. Kevin worried his lip, but made up his mind. “Yeah, um, you know how I told you, Jeremy, how he couldn’t be left alone…?” 

Silence. 

“I…” Jeremy breathed deeply. “Yeah, I got the gist of it a few weeks after he arrived. He told us all a few things.” 

Kevin’s blood ran cold. “He...did? Oh. That’s…” 

“We won’t talk now. It’s too heavy of a conversation for you to have in public and right before you go Christmas shopping.” 

“I’m doing  _ what?”  _

Laila sighed. “Yes, you’re going Christmas shopping. Go. If I call you in three hours and find out you haven’t at least made plans to buy a gift for this secret Santa on SUNDAY, I will personally send Alvarez over to the East Coast and they’ll beat your ass.” 

“I could go tomorrow.” 

“And risk not finding a gift the day before Secret Santa?” Jeremy scoffed. “Okay, maybe your white ass.” 

“I hate you.” 

“Always happy to help, Kev.” 

Kevin sighed and hung up. He finished his coffee and started walking back to Fox Tower. In the lobby, he met Renee and Andrew. 

“Hello, Kevin.” Renee smiled. Andrew spared him a glance but stopped walking when Renee stopped to talk to Kevin. 

“Hi, Renee,” Kevin replied. He thought for a moment. “Hi, I- I actually have a question. Could you, maybe, come with me shopping either today or tomorrow? I’m fucking hopeless at this whole thing.” 

Andrew’s eyes narrowed. “And who do you have?” 

“Allison.” 

Kevin didn’t think he imagined the relief in Andrew’s eyes. Asshole. “What’s hard about that? Get her a pink shirt, some glitter, and she’ll love you forever.” 

Kevin wrinkled his nose. “I’m hoping that was sarcasm.” 

Renee cocked her head thoughtfully. “I have to get Neil his gift today, and I know Andrew has to get his person a present, so why don’t we go to the mall?” 

“Who do you have?” Kevin asked Andrew.

Andrew didn’t look all too pleased when he answered, “Dan.” 

Kevin let out a bark of laughter. “I’m sure you know just what to get her.” 

Andrew mumbled some unprintable words under his breath and stalked ahead of Kevin and Renee, already pulling out the Maserati keys. 

Renee trailed after him, pulling Kevin along with her. “Have you talked to Jean lately?” 

Kevin knew Renee wasn’t fishing for information- she probably knew more than Kevin did about Jean’s life. He felt that that... probably shouldn’t be the case, considering Kevin and Jean grew up together. “I talked to Jeremy this morning about the banquet next week, which Jean is attending, but I have yet to call Jean himself.” A pause. “I need to, don’t I?” 

Renee opened the passenger door and claimed the seat for herself. “Don’t ask questions you already know the answer to, Kevin,” she answered, not unkindly. 

Neither Andrew, Renee, or Kevin attempted to fill the comfortable silence that filled the car. About halfway through the trip, Renee leaned over to change the radio station and Andrew allowed her- a privilege he didn’t even allow Neil- Kevin couldn’t blame him on that one, though; Andrew had only made that mistake once when he allowed Neil to change the station to a country station. 

The mall was a little crowded, something that Andrew didn’t seem too pleased about. In his opinion, crowds were ‘sweaty’ and people were ‘bothersome’ and his knives were ‘itching to be pulled free’. Kevin groaned a little at that and just told him not to get caught- it would be a travesty right before the banquet. Additionally, if Andrew got locked up for murder, they would be down a goalie for the spring season. 

As if Andrew could sense his one-track mind whirring, he flicked Kevin in the back of the head. “Keep that up and I’ll stab you so there are no charges pressed.” 

Kevin looked at him sideways as they entered their first store. “And what makes you think I won’t press charges?” 

“Because if I don’t kill you before then, Renee will finish the job,” Andrew said. 

Renee simply smiled when Kevin whirled around to look at her. 

Not comforting in the slightest. 

“Kevin.” Renee put a hand on his arm to stop him from fidgeting; he still didn’t know what to get Allison. “Get her something that you understand. Don’t try and get her perfume if you don’t know how to pick it out. You understand my logic, yes?” She paused. “And don’t get her a gift card, either. That’s too impersonal for someone you practically live with.” Kevin nodded and tried to walk away, but Renee stopped him. “And please don’t get her anything related to Exy if you wish to keep Allison’s heels out of your organs.” 

Godammit.

Groaning, Kevin parted from Andrew and Renee in favor of wandering the store by himself, though he didn’t stray too far. His eyes darted from shelf to shelf, mentally checking off what Allison  _ wouldn’t _ like here. He had almost gone through the whole store, finding nothing, when he got lucky and found the clothing section of the store. It was split into sections, and it was obvious to Kevin what clothes were nicer than others. Because of the price limit on the gift, he couldn’t get her anything  _ too  _ expensive, but he still found something he was sure Allison would like. 

When he found Renee and Andrew again, Andrew didn’t comment on the clothing in his arms, but Renee examined them closely. 

“You have very nice taste, Kevin,” said Renee. “I can see why you and Allison get along.” 

Kevin smiled back at her. “Any luck with Neil- or Dan?” The last part was more of a jab at Andrew, and he knew it, too.

“I think I saw a shallow grave with your name on it, Kevin.” Andrew’s light voice was laced with venom and annoyance. “Do you think she’ll like that?” 

“I think,” Kevin said, “that she’d be unhappy to be down a striker.” 

Andrew waved the comment aside. “Not my problem.” 

Sighing, Kevin turned to Renee, “What about you? Andrew tell you what to get Neil?”

Andrew shook his head and Renee elaborated. “Neil will flounder if I get him anything- that’s a given. Andrew told me to get him nothing- he’ll be happier that way. I was thinking something small, like a book.” 

“He’d just chuck it at me or something.” 

“Yes, that’s what Andrew said as well.” Renee shrugged helplessly. “So now I don’t know what to do. What does Neil like besides Exy?” 

Kevin looked at Andrew pointedly. “You can fit him in a gift bag.” 

“You know,” Andrew said, fingering his armbands through his jacket. “That’s what Nicky said this morning, too. He had to take a trip to Abby’s after that.” 

“Message received.” Kevin backed away from the short angry blond man. He had no illusions that even without the knives, Andrew could kill him on the spot. Kevin saw how much Andrew lifted at the gym- it was probably more than his body mass. “Wait. Hold on. Doesn’t Neil take like a million pictures?” At Andrew and Renee’s blank looks, he rushed on. “I mean, he helps Dan out with that photo wall all the time by stealing her camera. I’m sure you can find him his own camera within the price limit. And Andrew, you can probably find something that has to do with the photo wall or scrapbooking for Dan.” 

Andrew blinked at him and Renee practically glowed. “Kevin, that’s an excellent idea.” 

“Where did you draw inspiration for that?” Andrew asked in a condescending tone that indicated he already knew. 

Kevin shrugged. “It’s amazing how much clarity death-threats can bring to a man.” 


	9. Nicky Makes Hypothetical Fairy Tale Women Cry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alvarez nodded. “Jean could pick a fight with a dog and go on for hours.” 
> 
> Jean wrinkled his nose. “Dogs have done me no wrong, therefore I have no desire to fight them.” 
> 
> “But you could if you really had your heart set on it.” 
> 
> “...what breed are we referencing in this hypothetical argument with a dog.” 
> 
> “Pitbull.” 
> 
> Jeremy made a vague noise of protest. “They’re just misunderstood!” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: references to past trauma and abuse

“No, Kevin, you have to put the ‘x’ on top of the- no. No. What the fuck. No, Kevin, don’t- no, just stop. Stop. You’re fucking hopeless.” 

“Shut the hell up.”

“If you wanted me to shut up, you wouldn’t have asked me to explain this math to you.” 

“I can just get help from someone else.” 

“Oh yeah? Who? Andrew? Aaron?  _ Nicky? _ ” 

Nicky made a hurt noise and stood up. “This is slander and I’m not going to stand for it,” he said and sat back down in his seat.

“...” 

“That’s what I thought. Now carry the fucking two and move the ‘x’ to where it’s supposed to be.” 

Kevin threw his hands up. “Demonstrate it to me!” 

Neil stared at him. “You want me,” he said, “to demonstrate a mathematical theory to you? Do you want me to compose a sonnet? Act out a play? Communicate through swordplay? Perhaps spout a haiku.”

Kevin crossed his arms and stared out the window of the bus. They didn’t have much time left until they got to the banquet, and for the past few hours, Neil had been attempting to explain Kevin’s math to him.

Emphasis on ‘attempting’.

“This is sad,” Matt said from a few rows up. “Shouldn’t you be really good at math? Like every time you throw the ball I envision you having one of those sports movie moments, with the equations and physics floating around your head as you calculate the trajectory and air resistance of the ball or something.” 

“He majors in history.” Aaron didn’t even look up from his phone to reply to Matt. “What more of a reason do you need than that?” 

“I don’t need this negativity,” Kevin huffed. “I can do math, thank you very much.” 

“So should Neil  _ not  _ compose a play on mathematical equations?” Nicky asked. 

“...I need a demonstration.” 

“Neil, for your play, I call the tragically attractive male lead that all the ladies cry over because, alas, I am not heterosexual.” Nicky wiped an imaginary tear from his cheek. 

Dan clasped her hands together, “Oh! Oh! And your one true love is the only man who was able to heal your broken heart after your sister was brutally stabbed to death.” 

Matt nodded along eagerly. “Yes, yes, and he’s also the one who talked you out of your crazy, suicidal revenge plan.” 

“And,” Andrew added wryly, “he’s the only one in the village who could do math, and therefore taught you the correct mathematical formula to use to solve the sister-killers riddle. That’s how you got your revenge  _ and  _ learned math.” 

“But,” Allison interjected. “The real revenge was the love and friendship you found along the way.” 

Nicky wiped more imaginary tears off of his face. “Oh, I’m so strong.” 

A smile tugged at Neil’s lips, but his eyes were exasperated when he turned back to Kevin. “Good enough for you?” 

It wasn’t, but it was too late now. The UT Longhorn’s stadium was in sight, and Wymack barked at his team to get their asses moving or so help him god he would sign them all up for the ‘Jingle All the Way’ marathon this week. 

Kevin scrambled along with the rest of the team to get his possessions, but as Abby pulled into their parking space, he caught sight of the sleek black-and-red buses. While the rest of the team piled off, Andrew, Neil, Wymack, and Abby slowed down and looked back at Kevin. 

“You know,” Wymack remarked. “Last time this happened I handed you a bottle of vodka and said ‘good luck’.” 

“Which,” Abby said sharply, “you won’t be doing again.” 

Wymack grimaced. “Sorry about that, Kev.” 

Kevin waved the apology off, though he appreciated it. Looking back, the Foxes hadn’t helped him all that much with his panic attacks last year. He had heard Besty scolding Wymack for it in the kitchen several days ago. “Do you know the seating chart for tonight?” 

Wymack pulled up what must have been a list on his phone and nodded. “Ravens and Foxes are on opposite sides of the Court.” 

Neil nodded. “They must’ve learned from last year.” 

“You know, Day,” Andrew said. “Riko fuckface is dead, and Tetsuji isn’t allowed to be here. So what’s the holdup?” 

Andrew knew exactly what the hold-up was, but there was a quiet challenge in his voice. Though Riko and Tetsuji weren’t coming near Kevin again, the rest of the Ravens weren’t innocent by any means. That alone was enough for Kevin to itch in their presence. Along with that, the presence of a certain ex-Raven was enough to make Kevin jittery. Despite those facts, Kevin got off the bus and walked beside Andrew and Neil into the Court. 

Since the Foxes rose in the ranks and their championship over the Ravens last year, the other teams had come to respect them. Kevin saw whispers and looks their ways, and Dan saw it too as she led them to their table. “They’re sizing us up.”

“How nice,” Renee said. “They finally think we’re worthy of our status.” 

Andrew mumbled under his breath. “Someone’s getting stabbed tonight if I hear so much as one compliment.” Neil shook his head and Kevin gave Andrew a questioning look. Neil pointed ahead and Kevin saw their table. A grin almost split his face in two when he saw who it was. 

Wearing a deep maroon suit that went well with his dark skin and an open suit jacket that did something to Kevin’s heart that he wasn’t going to think about right now, thank you very much, Jeremy Knox stood up and slapped him on the back. “Kev! How’d secret Santa go?” 

Matt gave Kevin an incredulous look while Allison raised her eyebrows suggestively. Kevin ignored them in favor of taking his seat across from Jeremy at the table. “It went well, thanks to you.” 

“By that, he means he got Renee and Andrew to take him to the mall,” Neil supplied. 

To Jeremy’s left, Alvarez shrugged. “More than I thought he was going to do.” 

The freshman Foxes continued down the table until they sat across from the freshmen Trojans, far away from where Kevin sat. Only Robin sat near him, Andrew, and Neil. Nicky took his seat across from Laila further down the table. “You went to Jeremy before you asked any of us for help? I am shocked, Kevin. Shocked and horrified.” 

Jeremy grinned. “But it helped, right?” 

Andrew inclined his head at Kevin’s side. “He would’ve gotten Allison a gift card otherwise.” 

“And I would’ve killed him,” Allison said genuinely. 

“Then I’m glad I aided in avoiding the loss of one of the best strikers in the NCAA.” Jeremy winked at Kevin. 

Kevin looked down into his lap and hoped his cheeks weren’t as red as he felt they were. 

Andrew said something in German to Neil, and then: “Jesus Christ, I’m not going to last through this,” Neil mumbled in French. Kevin looked up, but Neil was already shrinking under Dan’s reprimanding gaze. Neil held up his hands and, in English, said, “It won’t be like last time, Dan!” 

“Last  _ two  _ times,” Matt said mildly.

“Dan hit a Raven with her heels last year!” 

Robin’s expression was pure awe towards Dan. “You  _ did?”  _

Dan winked. “Yup. I’ll tell you what I told Neil last year, rookie: do as I say, not as I do.” 

“You ran off to Evermore last time, despite everyone’s wishes. ” Kevin pointed out in French to Neil. Neil just shrugged as if that had been inevitable and- with Neil’s mouth- it probably had been. “And- don’t argue with me, you know it’s true- you sicced the mafia on us last time!”

“I did us all a favor getting rid of him,” Neil said, switching back to French. Kevin was thankful he didn’t use Riko’s name. 

“Yes, I’m incredibly happy you sold our future profit- practically our lives- to the yakuza.” Kevin clasped his hands together and decided to take a dig about Jesus Neil, which Real Neil still didn’t know about. “Thank you, my lord and savior Neil Josten.” 

“Hey, I got that son of a bitch killed and we’re all better off without him.” 

“Amen.” Even after weeks of the joke, the confused look on Neil’s face when any Jesus-related-jokes were told never got old. 

“Well,” Jeremy said placidly. 

Alvarez looked entertained. “This is going to be so much better than the West coast baquet.” Catching the Foxes’ confused looks, they elaborated. “So many rich kids in one place- it’s like out of a movie. They all bought their ranks instead of earning them.” 

Allison snorted. “Sounds like one of my parents’ parties.” She shuddered. “So much plastic in one place.” 

Laila groaned when Alvarez leaned forward to address Allison. “You. I like you.” 

Kevin turned away from them and looked back to Jeremy, who had been watching the exchange with fascination. Jeremey’s smile did something to Kevin’s stomach that he couldn’t….exactly identify. His focus slid to the vacated chair on Jeremey’s other side and then he blanched. There was one person that was missing from the Trojan’s team, and Kevin had been dreading coming face-to-face with them again. 

“Oh,” Robin said softly, looking at the newcomer making his way to the table. “He’s...wow.” 

“Frenchie!” Andrew exclaimed, spreading his arms as if he expected a hug. “We meet again.” 

Jean gave Andrew a dirty look as he approached the table. Kevin gave him a once-over. In a fitted navy suit with a white undershirt and silver tie, Jean looked...good. Really good. The scars that Riko had left on his face during their last and final encounter looked almost fully healed, and his hair had grown back where Riko had torn it out. The number three still adorned his cheekbone, as Kevin’s number two had, but Jean didn’t shrink from the looks that the tattoo brought on. 

“And here,” said Jean, his accent still thick as ever, “I thought I would have the privilege of never seeing you again.” 

Andrew threaded his fingers together and leaned back in his chair, the perfect picture of relaxation. Kevin didn’t miss the tension that threaded through his body, though. “You love us.” 

Jean rolled his eyes and took a deep, theatrical breath. Jeremy stifled a laugh and it ended up coming out as a choking noise. Andrew raised an eyebrow. “Are we not lovable people?” 

Even the Foxes were chuckling now- and attempting to hide it poorly, too. Nicky was laughing outright. To Kevin’s surprise, a small, wry grin found its way onto Jean’s face. “I am hoping that this banquet will go better than the last time,  _ oui _ ?” 

“We were just talking about that,” Jeremy said with a laugh. “I don’t know what the hell happened but, damn, I wish I had been there.” 

Jean’s expression darkened almost imperceptibly. “No,” he said quietly. “No, you don’t.” He finally turned to Kevin. “Hello, Kevin.” 

Kevin felt a tightness in his chest as he answered, “Hello, Jean.” 

Jean pursed his lips. “We have much to catch up on.” 

Kevin looked from Jean’s fading scars to the easy look he had just exchanged with Alvarez. “So we do.” 

Jeremy held up a hand. “After, please.” 

Kevin, along with the entirety of the Foxes, cringed. Jean even sucked in a breath. There were good days, when Andrew would even interact with the rest of the team easily, and bad days, when Kevin saw Andrew distance himself physically, emotionally, and mentally. Then, as Kevin had recently learned, there were the really bad days. Those were the days when Kevin caught Neil sleeping on the beanbags in their dorm or in his own bed instead of with Andrew. There was no telling how violent of a reaction the Word would gauge tonight. 

Andrew pretended to examine his nails, somehow managing to make the gesture seem threatening. “That word,” he drawled, “I don’t like that word. Don’t use it.” 

Jeremy seemed taken aback. “I-I’m s-” 

“It was my mistake,” Jean interjected hurriedly. Kevin thought Jean was addressing Neil or himself at first, but he was looking at Jeremy as he spoke in French. “I should have told you about that particular quirk of his.” 

Neil’s look was assessing. “You speak French?” he asked Jeremy carefully, still carrying out the conversation in the language. 

Jeremy cringed. “Yes.” 

Neil blinked. They had just openly discussed a mob war in French because they had been stupid and assumed no one else around them spoke it. 

“Oh, shit,” Jean said, looking between Neil, Kevin, and Jeremy as if deciding who to restrain (or protect, in Jeremy’s case) first. “Tell me you didn’t-” 

“Nothing I didn’t already know,” Jeremy assured him. 

“ _ WHAT? _ ” Kevin all but shouted. 

Jeremy rushed to get his words out. “Well- no that’s- okay, please don’t- hey! I didn’t know about Neil! That’s- that’s all! Everything else I got the gist of or connected the dots on my own!” 

Kevin looked to Jean. Jean’s face was a mask of stone and eyes of steel. “You have no right to look at me like that, Kevin. How did you think that you could send me to Jeremy, looking like I did, with no explanation? You even told him that I could not stay alone in a room- how the fuck was he supposed to handle that?” Jean gestured to himself. “Not to mention the  _ scars _ , Kevin. I scared the team practically all the way to the East coast when I changed out for the first time. How worried do you think I was when, one day, Jeremy found out I was scared to take a shower, and I told him about the waterboarding, only to find out that  _ you didn’t mention that I was tortured for years. _ ” 

Jeremy was very, very still and Neil was very, very mad- at Kevin. “You did  _ what? _ ” 

Andrew clapped, startling all of them. “Arguments are no fun when the rest of us can’t understand it.” Neil said something quickly in German, and then Andrew turned his head oh, so slowly to Kevin. “My, my, our  _ Sankta _ Kevin has made a few mistakes, hmm?” 

Dan was halfway out of her seat, no doubt ready to bolt to Wymack if things got ugly. “Hey, why don’t we all just cool down, okay?” 

Allison clicked her nails together. “Only we could manage to piss off the team that’s statistically proven to be the nicest team in all of Exy.” 

“Do I really count for that, though?” Jean asked, sarcasm threaded through his words. “I wasn’t on the team anytime they won the Kayleigh Day award. And...look at me!” 

Alvarez nodded. “Jean could pick a fight with a dog and go on for hours.” 

Jean wrinkled his nose. “Dogs have done me no wrong, therefore I have no desire to fight them.” 

“But you could if you really had your heart set on it.” 

“...what breed are we referencing in this hypothetical argument with a dog.” 

“Pitbull.” 

Jeremy made a vague noise of protest. “They’re just misunderstood!” 

“That’s true,” Nicky said, always anxious to diffuse a situation with jokes. “Erik had the nicest pitbull when I was in highschool.” 

“Ooooh.” Alvarez leaned forward. “Who’s Erik? Are they your sugar daddy?”

“He’s my fiance,” Nicky said smugly. “Well, boyfriend, really. But we know we’re going to get married. I  _ wish  _ I had a sugar daddy.” 

“Seriously?” Alvarez said. “Jean told us you guys have a Maserati, so I’m willing to bet you have a sugar daddy. Are you sure it’s not Erik?” 

Kevin choked on his water. “What?” he stole a look at Neil, who looked like he was trying so, so,  _ so _ hard not to laugh. 

“Andrew paid for it,” Aaron said. Everyone looked shocked that he was joining in on the conversation. “In all cash. Never told us where he got it. We all assumed he robbed a bank.”

“ _ I  _ think he has a sugar daddy,” Nicky said. “We have a bet going on.” 

No one else was paying Kevin any heed as he whispered to Andrew. “Did...you not...ever tell them?” 

Andrew’s mouth twitched. “Why ruin the fun of hearing all their outlandish theories?” 

Kevin turned back to the rest of the table, finding Jeremy’s eyes widened as he conversed with Nicky. “Jean told us about your insane bets. He says you guys bet on everything.” 

Matt wrinkled his nose. “You make us sound  _ uncivilized. _ ”

Jean gestured vaguely, as if everything the Foxes did proved his point. 

“I  _ think  _ we’re getting off-topic here,” Alvarez pointed out. “What breed of dog is Jean picking a fight with in this hypothetical argument?” 

“None,” Laila said. “He’s fighting a large bird.” 

“A goose!” Dan supplied. “Nasty little fuckers.” 

“They will tear you apart if you so much as make eye contact with them,” Renee agreed. “Especially the Canadian ones.”

“That’s...not what I expected.” Alvarez narrowed their eyes. “Are there Canadian geese in South Carolina?” 

“No, Dan and I lived in the North.”

“Ah,” Jeremy said. “That makes more sense.”

“Okay-” Nicky put down his phone with a dramatic  _ thunk _ on the table. “-which one of you bitches did it?” 

Kevin glanced at the rest of the team to see if they had any idea what he was talking about. “You’ll have to elaborate on that.” 

Nicky picked up his phone and waved it in the air. “Who changed the Instagram profile picture?” 

“Nicky.” Aaron rested his elbows on the table. “It was a picture of ‘Donna and the Dynamos’ but with your face over Donna’s and Allison and Dan’s over the other two.” 

Allison and Dan high-fived while Nicky gasped. “You say that like it’s a bad thing.” 

“It was.” 

“And you thought the official team picture was a better option?” 

“Nicky, it’s in the name!” 

“That’s it,” Nicky said, tapping away on his phone. “I’m changing it back and changing the password to the account and not telling you what it is.” 

Jeremy looked at Kevin. “Should we…?” 

Kevin shook his head. “Aaron will guess the password within the week, give or take a few days.” 

“Are you going to attempt to change the picture?” Jean asked him skeptically. 

Neil smirked. “They won’t tell him the password to any of the accounts.” 

“That explains the Snapchat story I saw three days ago with Nicky running from Kevin- who was holding a raquette,” Laila said. 

Matt shrugged. “Nicky fucked up when he called Kevin the Queen of England. Kevin then proceeded to lecture him on Ireland-England relations, and how much Kevin hated the comparison. When Nicky said ‘forgive me, Your Royal Highness’, Kevin went- what did you call it?” Matt asked Kevin. “Full ‘Henry VIII’? We weren’t stopping Kevin- it’s survival of the fittest. If Nicky couldn’t find a way out of it, then he’s the weak link.” 

“...it makes sense.” 

The tension was slowly seeping out of the atmosphere, though Kevin knew the argument with Jean was only held off until later. Thoughts whirled and whizzed in Kevin’s head, but before he could focus on them for too long, Wymack’s voice boomed in the stadium. 

Neil smiled. “I forgot he had to do the speech this year.” 

Kevin had not. He was careful to avoid any curious, deceitful eyes that bored into him as his father spoke. Everyone knew at least bits and pieces of what went down between Wymack and Kevin’s mother, and they were all eager to know more. Kevin suspected that the Trojans wanted to know more, too, but were too polite to ask. 

Wymack’s speech wasn’t like any of the speeches he had ever given the Foxes, which was all the better; Kevin doubted he could sign every Exy team in the US up for the Jingle All the Way marathon in Columbia. The speech was short, sweet, right to the point, and lacking emotion. The crowd clapped politely as he descended the steps to the dais and sat back down next to Abby. 

“Ah,” Andrew sighed, getting up. “He has a way with words, yes?” 

Neil scoffed. “A modern-day Shakespeare.” He looked from Andrew to Kevin. “Shall we?” And off they went into the crowd.

Kevin knew a lot of people. Thanks to the Foxes victory last year, a lot of people wanted to talk to them, to size them up. But Andrew was having absolutely none of that, and Neil only jumped into a conversation when it interested him. Kevin tried his best to keep the conversations about Exy, but with all the events of the past year, it was hard for people not to ask questions. Kevin, fearful of Neil’s mouth and Andrew’s knives, tried his best to answer politely and then excuse himself and move onto the next conversation, but he failed at several points. Two people cried when Neil opened his mouth, and one almost threw up after a few words from Andrew. 

Somewhere during the evening, Jean and Jeremy joined their trio. With Jean and Kevin together, a lot of people wanted to talk about Evermore and Tetsuji and Riko and the Ravens, but Jeremy was an expert at controlling and leaving conversations. Kevin had to admire how he looked happy and polite and calm the entire time. When Jeremy caught Kevin marveling as he steered away from another group of nosy people, he asked, “What?” 

Kevin just shook his head. “How are you so…nice?” 

Jeremy snorted. “I have a feeling you’d think anyone was a saint compared to some of the people you have to deal with on a daily basis.” He looked pointedly at Andrew and Neil who were a few paces off to the side and talking to Renee and Allison. 

“True. I’m convinced they’re demons from hell.”

“ _ You  _ are a demon from hell, Kevin Day,” Jean said matter-of-factly. 

“Am not.”

“You most definitely are. I bet your team hated you when they first found out how you ran practices.” 

“I run practices just fine.” 

“Oh, really?” Jean said. “He probably pointed out everything they were doing wrong every second.” He said to Jeremy. 

Kevin flushed, but Jeremy just laughed. “It probably made them all the better.” 

Kevin felt something bloom in his chest. 

The night wasn’t over quite yet, but they returned to their table when they saw some Foxes and Trojans gesturing animatedly with their phones. 

“What is it?” Jeremy asked Laila. 

“We’re trying to find a decent club around here,” she answered. 

“Preferably one where we won’t get hate crimed,” Alvarez added. 

“It’s Texas,” Allison said shortly. “The only club where you wouldn’t get hate-crimed in is-” 

“Got it!” Nicky pushed his phone triumphantly towards Allison and Laila. 

Allison laughed. “Oh, it’s perfect. Will your team be good there?” 

Kevin didn’t want to know what had provoked that reaction from Allison. 

Laila nodded thoughtfully. “Of course. Besides, not everyone’s going. A lot of people are tired, and most of the underage ones don’t have passable IDs.” 

“That’s okay,” Dan said. “We’ll send our freshmen with yours back to the hotel.”

Neil, who had been listening the whole time, looked at Andrew. “Do we even have passable ID’s?” 

Andrew patted his forearms, where Kevin knew his knives were hidden. “Yes, I’m sure we do.” 

“Nuh-uh,” Dan shook her head. “You’re not pulling that crap tonight.” 

“Then how do you suggest we get in, oh, Captain, my Captain?” 

Allison looked affronted. “Um, hello? We have  _ moi.” _

“And,” Dan added, “some of the most recognizable athletes in the country.” 

Nicky nodded eagerly. “If this-” he pointed to Kevin and Jean’s faces. “-doesn’t get us in, then this-” he waved at Neil’s scarred face. “-will.” 

Andrew stole his cousin’s phone and looked at what club they were going to. He smirked, but didn’t protest, so Kevin relaxed and assumed it was safe. 

Alvarez howled and threw their arms around Laila. “Let’s get drunk, bitches!” 


	10. Jeremy Tries to Play 20-Questions with Neil and Andrew

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Andrew twirled his hand in the air, already walking into the club. “I’m wounded. You expect so little of me.” 
> 
> “You tried to KILL ME last year.” 
> 
> “Details, details.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: mentions of past abuse, internalized homophobia, vague mentions of a past character's extreme homophobia, alcohol, and basic TWs from the book series itself

Wymack was dubious of their plan, but he seemingly trusted (some) of them enough to let them go with promises to return to the hotel afterward. Abby fussed about how they were going to get there, but Jeremy and Allison assured her that the distance to the club was walkable. Kevin only brought his phone and his backpack, along with its contents. 

The walk wasn’t long at all, only a couple of blocks, and the dry Texas weather was warm enough that they weren’t shivering. When they got to the club, there was a long line out the door. 

“Well, shit,” Nicky said. He looked at Allison and Andrew. “Work your magic?” 

Andrew and Allison eyed each other, accepting Nicky’s unintentional challenge-turned-bet. 

“Who pays for the first round?” Allison asked him. 

“I’ll drink well tonight,” Andrew remarked. He and Allison went off in opposite directions, Allison dragging Jean and Jeremy, Andrew dragging Neil and Kevin. 

“My money’s on Allison.” Kevin heard Dan say.

Aaron’s voice was faint but clear. “Andrew.” 

If Andrew was surprised by his twin’s faith in him, he didn’t show it. He pushed Neil behind him, Kevin in front of him and approached the bouncer. 

“Listen,” the bouncer began, his back to them. “I don’t care how desperate you are, I can’t- holy shit, are you Kevin Day?” 

Kevin pasted on his winning press-smile. He could almost hear the Foxes’ snickers behind him. “Hi.” 

The bouncer gaped at him. “Why are you here, shouldn’t you be- ah, the banquet. How’d it go?” 

Kevin laughed. “As well as can be expected when you cram a bunch of tired college athletes into a plexiglass box.” He jerked his thumb in the general direction of the Foxes and Trojans. “We just really need a drink.” 

The bouncer raised his eyebrows. “And you want to come in…here?” 

If Kevin had been worse at controlling his emotions in public, he would’ve frowned. Andrew stepped forward and easily took over the conversation. The bouncer mouthed  _ oh shit _ when he realized who Andrew and Neil were. Neil kept to the shadows while Andrew grabbed his attention. 

“Yes, you happen to be one of the closer, safer clubs near the Longhorn’s stadium,” Andrew said. 

“We realize it’s not exactly moral to ask this of you,” Kevin continued. “But we really need to sit down.” 

The bouncer was still staring at the three of them, but tore his eyes away to take what Kevin presumed was a headcount of the two teams. He nodded. “Maybe…” 

Andrew sighed and stuck out his hand. “We’d really appreciate it.” 

The bouncer shook Andrew’s hand, took the money within, then withdrew his hand into his pocket quickly. “Yeah, I can manage that. Just...don’t get into any fights.” 

Kevin’s grin felt strained on the edges when he thought back to Jean and their unfinished business. “Absolutely.” 

When they returned to the group, Alvarez whooped again and Allison sighed. “How do you do that every goddamn time?” 

Andrew squinted at her. “You went to the female bouncer.” 

“And?” 

“She doesn’t swing that way, I take it?”

“And yours played out so well?” 

Andrew twirled his hand in the air, already walking into the club. “I’m wounded. You expect so little of me.” 

“You tried to KILL ME last year.” 

“Details, details.” Andrew claimed the corner of the club, close enough to the dance floor to watch yet near enough to the bar that drinks were fast. 

Alvarez smiled and wound their arm around Laila’s waist. “Honey, we’re dancing until our feet fall off.” 

“Okay, babe.” Laila smiled. “Let’s get drinks first.” 

Andrew was already up and dragging Neil behind him. “I have my team covered. You all fend for yourselves.” 

Jeremy’s eyes trailed after the duo. “He’s...nice.” 

Matt laughed. “You don’t know the half of it.” 

Andrew returned with the drinks, and Alvarez brought more soon after. Everyone but Renee and Kevin drank, and Kevin was surprised when he saw Jean and Neil each nursing a drink that had a dash of alcohol in it. 

“Ah!” Nicky sighed, downing another shot. “This is where I belong.” 

Aaron frowned. “We go to Eden’s every weekend back home.” 

Nicky’s eyes widened. “Aaron, you do know that-” 

Allison cut him off. “Nicky, why don’t you come to the dance floor with me?” 

“Yes!” he screeched, already grabbing Allison’s arm and dragging her to the dance floor. 

Aaron’s frown deepened, but he just swallowed another shot. Matt, Renee, and Dan dragged him to the dance floor not long after, and a majority of the Trojan’s went with them. Alvarez and Laila went, and they started tugging Jeremy with them. He looked back at them once, but when Jean nodded, Jeremy turned and followed his teammates onto the dance floor.

Andrew, Neil, Jean, and Kevin were the only ones who remained in their corner. After a few minutes of no talking, Jean grunted and grabbed Kevin’s elbow. 

Andrew looked sharply at him. “Return him in one piece, Jean-val-Jean, or I’ll-” 

“You will what?” Jean dared. “If you cannot tell, there are few things worse than death and I have experienced them all. So your threats do you no good, Minyard. I will return him in one piece, as I have done for years. In exchange, you will not touch my own.” 

Andrew’s smile was bitter and fleeting. “You’ve grown a pair of claws, have you? Good...good.” 

Jean didn’t deign him with a response and continued frog-marching Kevin until they grabbed two open seats at the bar. Jean’s suit jacket was undone, his tie was unknotted and slung around his neck. A piece of hair touched his forehead, and he swept it gracefully out of the way. When Jean spoke, it was in French. 

“Why did you not tell Jeremy about Evermore?” 

Oh. Right to the point then. 

Kevin looked longingly at the alcohol on the shelves. 

He shrugged helplessly. “I-I’m sorry, Jean.” 

“I do not need apologies.” Jean’s tone could’ve frozen over the Sahara. “I need explanations.” 

“I…” Kevin fumbled with his words. “I didn’t- I mean, I knew that- I didn’t think-” 

“Clearly,” Jean drawled. 

Kevin sighed. “I didn’t want Jeremy knowing what went on in Evermore.” 

Jean swirled his drink in its glass. “You did not want him knowing how badly you believe you fucked up.” 

There was no point in denying it, so Kevin said nothing. 

“You did not want him to know how you left me,” Jean continued. “After I helped you escape after that ill-fated match, you left me in His hands, Kevin. And look how that turned out.” 

Kevin looked at the scars that decorated Jean’s face and jaw and forearms and legs. To Riko, Jean was property- less than, even; a toy to play with and experiment on. Riko had done...many things to both of them, but Kevin wasn’t property. That title fell to Jean. 

“Jean-” 

“We did not talk about it in the summer, Kevin, because I was in no shape to,” said Jean. “So we are doing it now.” 

“I-” 

“Did you even look back?” asked Jean. “Did you have any regrets? Or did you continue on about your Kevin Day life doing your Kevin Day thing?” 

“For fucks sake, of course I looked back!” Kevin burst out. “Every day I did. But what could I have done, Jean? No, that’s unfair. I could have thought of something. But I was too wrapped up in what was happening to me and to my team, and I am not saying that as an excuse-” 

“It would be a piss poor one, I agree.” 

“-but I did think about it- about you. A lot. But when it came time for me to face you after you escaped I...could not. I was scared. Because in the end, it was not me who did something. I did not do a goddamn thing. It was Renee fucking Walker who saved you. Not the man you grew up with. Not the man you saved. It was someone who you had only met a few months ago.” 

Kevin took a breath. “I was a coward. I do not deny it. Believe me when I say it has been made clear to me ten times over just how much of a coward I was and still am. So, Jean, for all that it’s worth, I regret leaving you at Evermore. I regret not doing more. I regret not telling Jeremy about it or trying harder and checking up on you more frequently. I am so sorry.” 

Jean was quiet, which grated on Kevin’s nerves more than anything. His hands started shaking, so he gripped his glass so hard he thought it would shatter. Finally, Jean spoke. 

“That was the most I have ever heard you talk about something that is not Exy.” 

Kevin gave a shaky laugh. “What can I say,  _ mon ami _ ? You inspire me, Jean Moreau.” 

“ _ Non _ , I am sure I am not the Trojan that gets that honor.” Jean gave Kevin an indecipherable look. “You are no coward, Kevin Day. Far from it. But, I do accept your apology. I do not forgive you, nor do I think either of us can move past what has been done, but I do still want you in my life, Kevin.” 

The tightness that had been in Kevin’s chest for months now unwound. “Thank you, thank you, Jean. As do I.” 

Silence for a beat, and then Jean smirked. “Did I tell you that I have begun therapy?’ 

Kevin stared at him. “What?” 

“It is nice, Kevin. No one can fully understand what has happened to us, but it is helpful to try and gain control of the aftermath.” 

Kevin slowly nodded, unsure of where this conversation was headed. “That sounds...nice.” 

Jean scoffed. “Do not sound so excited.” 

Kevin was about to respond when something caught his eye near the dance floor. Or rather, someone. 

Jeremy was picking his way through the crowd, headed towards Jean and Kevin. He was too polite to shove everyone out of the way, and apologized to everyone he attempted to squeeze past. 

Jean smiled softly and swallowed the rest of his drink. “He will be here by the time we are old and gray.” He glanced at Kevin. “Well, one of us will be gray.” 

“Fuck off.” Kevin looked from Jean’s smile to a glowing Jeremy, who looked flushed and positively...ethereal in his unbuttoned suit jacket and half-buttoned shirt. Kevin could see glimpses of his toned chest underneath and it made Kevin warm under his collar. He turned quickly back to Jean. “Are you two…?” 

Jean raised an eyebrow. “Did it hurt to mention two men in a hypothetical relationship, Kevin? Do you feel as if you will burst into flames?”

Kevin’s cringe was full-body. “I deserve that and much more.” 

Jean waved it aside. “I have already told you how I feel on all matters Evermore. What happened when Riko caught us together was...probably one of the ones that stuck with me for longer. But, alas, if you are looking to rekindle that flame, it is long gone. You are not my type.” 

Kevin gave a wounded, dramatic gasp. “And is Jeremy your type?” 

“No, no. Is he handsome and god-like?” Jean nodded. “Of course. Am I at a place where I am ready or looking for a relationship? No. Do you not have Thea?” 

“We broke up. Well, I broke up with her.” 

Jean choked on his drink. “Holy shit.” 

“Shut up.” 

Jeremy was closing in on their spot at the bar. Before he was within earshot, Jean spoke quietly and hurriedly. “I think you did not tell Jeremy about Evermore because, in addition to everything else, you did not want him to view you with pity. I tell you this because he does not pity you.” 

Kevin gaped, wondering why he told Kevin his own psychoanalysis. Before Kevin could respond, Jeremy threw his arms around both of them. 

“There you guys are!” he gasped. “I went back to the table to try and find you and then- and then Neil and Andrew said you were at the bar and I said ‘oh, okay, that’s cool I’ll- I’ll just wait here with you guys and we can talk and have fun and play 20-Questions get to know each other!’.” He lowered his voice to a stage-whisper. “But, spoiler alert, they didn’t like that idea very much- no, sir, they did not. I tried to give you some time to talk, but I couldn’t stand Andrew and Neil anymore. The sexual tension is just-” he mimed something blowing up. Kevin noted the smell of alcohol on him. From Jean’s look, he did, too. “Anywho, if you guys are done talking, I feel like we all need to hit the dance floor.” 

Kevin glanced at Jean. “You dance?” 

He raised a challenging brow. “You do not?”

“C’mon, Kev!” Jeremy begged. “When else are you gonna get to see my moves?” He swirled his hips and Kevin knew he was done for. 

Jean smirked as the three of them got to their feet and stumbled to the dance floor. Jeremy whooped. “Yes, Kev! I mean, when else are you gonna get the chance to dance at a gay club in  _ Texas _ ?” 

“At a  _ what? _ ” But Jeremy either couldn’t hear him or thought he was kidding. He started dancing, and when Kevin didn’t immediately dance, too, he paused. 

“Okay, okay, you just gotta move your hips, like this-” he made a few spinning and thrusting gestures. “-see?” 

A very, very drunk Alvarez saved Kevin from his garbled response. “KEVIN?” They leaned heavily on him. “Oh, hello, Your Highness! I didn’t think you would be joining us. Nicky said you never do!” 

Jeremy grinned. “He decided to change it up a bit. He’s a little outta practice, but I’ll get him there eventually” 

Alvarez twirled and ended up dancing with Jean. They dragged him away, but not before Kevin caught the words ‘ _ bon chance, mon ami _ ’. 

The night was this: 

Flashing lights and sparkling outfits. It was warm bodies all around and knowing that you were never really alone. Catching eyes with a stranger and losing them to the crowd seconds later. It was the smell of alcohol, the burn of tobacco, and the sting of the sharp air. Being with old friends and making new ones. Breaking the speed limit on every highway imaginable. It was meeting a stranger in the airport and talking with them for hours. It was feeling the music in your feet, in your gut, in your head and heart and soul. It was home, it was new, it was fast, it was slow, it was infinite. 

It was this: 

Jeremy’s hands on Kevin’s waist and Jean and Laila looking knowingly at him. Aaron letting loose and dancing with his team and the Trojans. It was Matt and Dan dancing in each others arms all night and Renee and Allison twirling each other like they were the only ones there. It was Jeremy’s eyes never leaving Kevin’s face and Andrew and Neil watching from the side, their eyes trailing their family. It was Alvarez and Nicky table dancing and having no phone with enough battery to record and Kevin going back to the table and pulling out his mother’s old camera.

It was this:

Kevin recording their awful table dance but not stopping there. It was Allison’s demands that he record her and Renee and kissing his cheek afterward. It was Kevin recording Jean having fun with Laila and Alvarez and the glow of Jeremy’s eyes under the neon light. It was Kevin recording Jermey teaching him how to dance to the songs with the heavy bass. It was Jeremy winking at him when he messed up and smiling so, so bright when he did it right. It was Jeremy, it was Jeremy, it was Jeremy. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i dont really know how much i like those last few paragraphs- might go back and edit them later. as always, thank you all sm for reading, and I hope you like it


	11. Neil Tells Everyone his Body Count

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Shut up,” Allison slurred. “Kevin: fuck, marry, kill... the Foxhole Court, Exy, your raquette.”   
>  Kevin thought about it and Matt laughed. “You’re actually...considering the question?”   
>  “Shut up, Boyd.”   
>  “Oh my god.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: past abuse, mentions of murder and violence, torture, injury, and any trigger warnings that apply to all things Evermore

Winter break flew by, and soon enough the Foxes were back at Fox Tower. The Exy team had done practically a repeat of their summer break, except this time Nicky and Aaron had stayed in town. Abby’s and Wymack’s had been nice, but Kevin had spent half the time switching between glaring at Abby’s rounded stomach and sweating every time he saw it. 

Needless to say, he’d gotten some weird looks. 

But the break was over, and the team was back. Thus began another night of their excursions days later. 

And thus began another argument with Nicky.

“Nicky, I’m sure there was some underlying homosexual themes and characters in Greek mythology but-” 

“Some, Kevin, some?” 

“Greek mythology is a study of humans coming up with explanations for things they can’t explain yet, and how human nature is a twisted thing!” 

“And they were all gay.” 

“Not  _ all-” _

“Apollo and Hyacinthus.” 

“Well yes-” 

“Artemis and her Hunters.” 

“But she-” 

“Dionysus.” 

“Yes him, too; he was the god of trans-” 

“And,” Nicky said. “Achilles and Patroclus.” 

Kevin bit his lip. “Yeah, fine, you win.” 

Nicky’s eyes lit up. “You’re not arguing with me?” 

“Well, you’re right-” 

“Yes!” 

“-on some twisted level,” Kevin amended. “And I  _ have  _ read Rick Riordan and  _ The Song of Achilles _ , Nicky.” Kevin sniffed. “I’m not  _ uncultured.”  _

Dan, who had been watching the whole thing go down, whistled. “How do you know all that Nicky?” 

“I read  _ Percy Jackson  _ as a kid,” Nicky said. “Duh.” He eyed Kevin speculatively. “And you say you did, too? Did you have a whole Olympian phase?” 

“...maybe.” 

“Oh, god, Kevin. Has Allison had The Talk with you yet? If she hasn’t, I’m going to have to- it's statistically proven that kids who read  _ Percy Jackson- _ ” Blessedly, amazingly, Allison cut Nicky off.

“Okay, okay, okay,” said Allison with the air only the thoroughly sloshed could achieve. “Truth or dare...Aaron!” 

Aaron, equally sloshed, squinted and thought long and hard about the question. “Truth,” he said smugly. 

“Do you really hate Neil or are you faking?” 

“...dare.” 

“I dare you to tell us if you truly hate Neil or not.” 

“Never have I ever-” 

“That’s not even the game!” 

“Okay.” Nicky held up a hand. “I got one. Allison: fuck, marry, kill… your shoes, your credit card, your wardrobe.” 

Allison didn’t hesitate. “Kill my shoes, fuck my wardrobe, and marry my credit card so I can buy new shoes.” 

“I don’t like how fast you came up with that answer,” Kevin lamented. 

“Shut up,” Allison slurred. “Kevin: fuck, marry, kill... the Foxhole Court, Exy, your racquet.” 

Kevin thought about it and Matt laughed. “You’re actually...considering the question?” 

“Shut up, Boyd.” 

“Oh my god.” 

“Marry Exy, kill my racquet, and-” 

“Don’t fucking say it-  
“-fuck the Court,” Kevin finished. His teammate’s voices overlapped:

“I can’t believe-” 

“Someone tell Jer-”

“Is that even possible?” 

“If there was a way, Kevin would know.” 

“I hate you all,” said Kevin with an air of finality. 

Aaron spoke up from where he was lounging on the couch, startling them all. Kevin had honestly thought he had drank himself into a stupor, but evidently not. “Two truths and a lie.” 

Nicky clapped. “I’m so good at this.” 

“Fine,” Dan said. “Then you go first.” 

“Gladly,” Nicky said. “...okay. My first language is Spanish, my favorite dinner is breakfast, and when I was in school I once got caught making out in the janitor’s closet… with a substitute. Don’t worry, the ages were legal!” 

Allison snorted, thinking that the story was another one of Nicky’s fanatical tales of woe and sorrow. “You didn’t get caught in the janitor's closet.” 

“Wrong, my first language is English.” Nicky wrinkled his nose. “My father wouldn’t let my mother teach his precious, straight, white, cis-male, perfect boy the ‘language of immigrants’.”

A beat of silence before Matt spoke. “I’m so glad I’ve never met your father because if I did he’d be dead.” 

Nicky dramatically clapped a hand to his chest. “You would do that for me,  _ amigo? _ ” 

Anyone who didn’t know Nicky any better wouldn’t have seen the crack in his demeanor. 

Matt nodded vigorously. “Of course.” 

“I’m honored.” Nicky pointed to Neil. “You next, mob boy.” 

From his perch on the armchair, Kevin saw Andrew look at Neil. When Neil nodded, the tension eased out of Andrew’s shoulders. 

Neil cleared his throat. “I’ve had twenty-two names, one time when I was eleven I got into a shoot-out with a man in Philadelphia where I got shot in the leg and afterward my mom and I were chased all the way to Dallas, and my eyes are grey.” 

“Easy-peasy,” Allison said. “That story is too detail-oriented and absurd to not be made up on the spot.” 

“C’mon, Neil,” Matt cajoled. “Give us something harder than that. We know how many names you’ve had, and you were never in Ph-” 

“His eyes are blue,” Kevin deadpanned. 

Everyone's heads whipped around to Neil. Matt erupted and squeezed Neil into a protective hug immediately. “You went- Phili- shooting- ohmygodNeil- this is why you stay away from people from the North East!” 

“Matt, you grew up in New York!” 

“So I know what I’m talking about!”

Neil attempted to reassure Matt. “Matt, buddy, don’t worry! I killed the guys who did it to me anyway!” 

Another pause. 

“New game,” Nicky said abruptly. “Body counts!” 

“Oh, I know this one!” Neil said. The Foxes looked at him expectantly. Kevin had just enough time to murmur ‘oh, shit’ before Neil grinned smugly and said, “Seventeen.” 

In that second, Kevin knew he was lying. The number was higher than that, but if anyone was going to call bullshit, it wasn’t going to be Kevin. 

They all stared at him. Silence stretched for an uncomfortable amount of time before Neil got the feeling he said something wrong. He looked to Kevin, but Kevin was slack-jawed and staring at Andrew, mentally begging him to clean this up. 

Andrew laughed so softly that if everyone wasn’t silent they wouldn’t have heard it. When they all looked at him, he widened his eyes in mock surprise. “I’m afraid our dear Neil has misunderstood the question and its nature greatly.” 

Nicky looked at Neil and screamed: “YOU HAD SEX WITH SEVENTEEN PEOPLE?” 

Neil’s eyes were as wide as dinner plates. “hAD SEX WITH?” 

“...seventeen people?” Nicky asked quietly. 

Kevin wanted a drink desperately, but settled for exclaiming, “For legal purposes, none of us heard that.”

“Agreed,” Dan said. “Let’s, um, stop playing games and watch the movie, yeah?” 

When the movie started, Kevin had the armchair to himself but was near Andrew and Neil on the couch beside it. Andrew was subtly ‘consoling’ Neil for his mix-up, but turned to smirk at Kevin. 

“Let me guess,” Kevin said. “You knew that was going to happen.” 

Neil quickly flashed the money he had earned from Andrew. “Who’s to say, Day?” 

Kevin rolled his eyes and flicked his eyes back up to the movie. He didn’t know why he kept attending the Foxes’ movie nights- he could be at the court right now, or reading, or studying. 

He would never admit he enjoys it. Never. 

Without the buzz of alcohol or crackers in his veins, Kevin found his eyelids drooping heavily. The noise of his teammate’s chatter and the drone of the TV lulled him slowly, slowly, slowly to sleep. 

In his mind, he was playing Exy. 

It wasn’t abnormal for Kevin to be playing Exy in his dreams, of course, but what made it unusual was the lack of noise.

The Foxhole Court was silent with no crowd, no coach, no players besides Kevin- who didn’t even have all of his gear on; just his racquet. 

At the opposite end of the court, a shadow appeared. This shadow was also not abnormal in Kevin’s dreams. Unwelcomed, but expected some days. 

Not today. Not when he was safe with his teammates. He was safe. This shouldn’t be happening. 

It still was.

“Kevin, Kevin, Kevin,” Riko growled. “Come home, Kevin.” 

Kevin didn’t say anything. Some small, distant part of him knew that what was happening wasn’t real, but it didn’t matter- not when Jean was passed out in the middle of the court, surrounded by his own blood. 

“Jean,” Kevin choked.

Noticing where Kevin’s attention was, Riko  _ tsk _ ed. “Jean reached the point of no return. I thought I had trained him better than that.” A sigh. “Alas, our team now finds themselves up a striker and down a backliner. Fortunately, I have a backup.” 

In a flash, Kevin was back at Evermore. The black walls were suffocating him, but not as much as the Ravens uniform he now adorned. Kevin didn’t need a mirror to know that the ‘2’ was back on his cheekbone, never covered up and never to be. There were still no other people on the court, save Riko and Kevin. Number one and number two. The King and his pet. 

Kevin had never escaped Evermore. He never would. He was so stupid, so blind, to ever think that Riko had been gone. He had assured Jean of it, and now Jean was dead. Jean was dead and it was Kevin’s fault. 

“We will play now, Kevin.” Riko slammed his racquet, which had materialized, against the floor. “We will play, and I will win. Because I am King. I am number one.” 

Kevin, now in full Exy gear, shifted into position. There was no goalie, but a new person entered the Court. Riko smiled that smile that could raze towns and burn cities. 

“Nathaniel,” crooned Riko. “So glad you could come and join us. We needed a replacement for the French trash.” 

His auburn curls were shoved under his helmet, but Kevin knew- knew deep in his heart- who it was. Even in a number four Raven’s jersey with a tattoo branding his cheek, Kevin could recognize him a mile away. 

“Neil,” Kevin gasped.

Riko clicked his tongue in a disapproving way. “Ah, yes. The Adventures of Neil Josten were fun while they lasted, but Neil is no more, Kevin. Nathaniel is all that there is. He bowed. He made the smart choice. And now you will too.” 

Neil was just close enough that Kevin could see his bright, cold, cruel blue eyes. Nathan Wesninski’s eyes. Where the fire usually was held in Neil’s eyes was empty and blank now. No fire, no fight, no ounce of life left. 

Neil had bowed to Riko.

Riko had broken Neil. 

Kevin had failed Neil. 

Jean was dead, Nathaniel was here, and Kevin was about to play in a match he knew would end with shattered bones and broken promises. 

It was a special type of hell. 

_ Hell is empty and all the devils are here, _ Andrew’s voice quoted in his head. But Andrew wasn’t here. Andrew wasn’t between Kevin and Riko now. It was just Kevin, Riko, and the Court. 

Kevin gave it all he had, but Riko had Nathaniel on his side. Neil Josten had been a talented, promising striker, but Nataniel Wesninski was a ruthless, calculating backliner. 

Before the game ended- before Kevin kneeled to Riko- the doors to the Court slammed open once more. 

The lights dimmed and warped at odd angles, so Kevin couldn’t see the face of the newcomer. Half of him hoped it was the now-dead Jean, coming to save him as he had the first time. 

But the figure was much too short to be Jean, and their frame much too child-like to be one of the Minyards. 

But Kevin knew who it was. He knew deep in his heart that this was his sibling. This was Abby and Wymack’s child. 

And Riko was stalking towards them like a lion spotting a gazelle. 

“Another one of Wymack’s bastards,” Riko sneered. “Aw, Kevin. And to think if you had just kept your mouth shut, they wouldn’t be here.” He snapped his fingers. “Nathaniel: hold Day down.” 

Before Kevin could even react, Nathaniel was holding Kevin in an iron grip while Riko brought his racquet up, and swung it towards Kevin’s sibling. 

There was screaming. Someone was screaming and Riko was laughing. Kevin was screaming and Riko was stalking towards him. Kevin’s sibling collapsed on the Court, an indistinct shadow that would haunt Kevin for eternity along with Jean and Neil. Riko raised his racquet, aiming for Kevin’s left hand while he begged and apologized and pleaded and bargained, but the racquet swung and made contact and- 

Kevin fell out of the armchair, sweat making his hair stick to his head. He thought he was screaming- or had that been in the dream? But, no, his throat felt raw. Nicky was staring down at him with guilt and horror ingrained in his features. When had Nicky been standing next to Kevin’s armchair? 

Dan was the nearest. “Kevin? Kevin! Talk to me, what’s wrong?” 

“My hand,” he gasped. “It’s- shattered- he just- Riko- and Nathaniel he-” 

Andrew’s tone was sharp and cold, breaking through the chaos that Kevin had inadvertently caused. “Back up, Dan.” Dan looked ready to protest, but whatever she saw on Kevin’s face made her compliant. 

Andrew didn’t touch Kevin, but he held out his hand palm-up as if he expected Kevin to hand him something. Kevin, still shaking with eyes darting around to look for Riko, placed his mangled hand in Andrew’s. 

Only it...wasn’t mangled. It was whole. There were white scars, but no blood or bones poking out. 

“See?” Andrew said. “You’re in Palmetto. He is dead.” 

“Natha- Neil. Neil’s at the Nest, we have to get him and-” 

“I’m here, Kevin.” Neil stepped into his line of sight and Kevin sighed. 

“I’m assuming Jean’s not dead either?” 

“You assume right. The French Bastard is still alive and kicking,” Neil confirmed. 

“I fell asleep?” The unspoken question was  _ why did I react that way? _ , and Andrew heard it. 

Andrew inclined his head. “Nicky brushed your hand on the way into the kitchen.” 

Oh.  _ Oh.  _ Kevin remembered Nicky’s guilty look that he had seen only moments before. 

The man was huddled in the corner with shining eyes. “I-I’m so sorry Kevin I didn’t know- I didn’t know that it was that bad and I just am so sorry-”

“It’s...it’s fine, Nicky,” Kevin gasped. “You didn’t...you couldn’t have known.” 

“Soooo,” Allison said into the worrying silence. “That bad?” 

Andrew glared at Allison but she just held up her hands. “We never knew, Andrew. We never saw the damage, we just saw the cast. And unlike you, Kevin didn’t tell us what went on in that place.” 

Kevin realized that...Allison was right. He had never told them what happened in the Nest. “Sorry,” he murmured. 

Matt waved off his apology. “You just answered all-” 

“Most,” Allison interjected. 

“- _ most _ ,” conceded Matt, “of our questions.” 

Kevin nodded mutely, still too strung out over the whole encounter. He was mortified that he had slipped and acted like that in front of his team, but he was too tired to care. 

“I was there,” Neil asked, not really a question. 

“Number four and all,” Kevin confirmed. He wasn’t going to mention his sibling, it would just make him seem like he was confirming a violent act he had yet to commit. 

“Did I bite Riko?” Neil was forcing his tone to be light and joking, and Kevin was grateful. 

Not that he would ever tell Neil that. 

Kevin didn’t answer Neil’s question, because the fact was Neil  _ hadn’t  _ done anything against Riko- that fact alone would shake Neil, though not visibly. 

Neil took the answer how he wanted, and everyone calmed down. Kevin excused himself from the scene and retreated back to the dorm room, not without reassuring everybody that he was okay, though. 

As always, the camera’s blinking red light was a constant and steady rhythm that comforted Kevin. Since researching and learning music theory last week, Kevin had constantly been counting things in four-four or three-four rhythm- like the recorder's light. In one of their first sessions a few weeks back, Betsy had told Kevin that since he enjoyed music (classical music, something that he was bullied mercilessly for) then he should take music lessons at the music hall. Kevin had declined… at first. He wasn’t playing piano, mostly because he was afraid it would hurt his hand, and mostly because of… something that Kevin didn’t want to think about right now. 

Kevin mentioned this to the camera itself.

“I suppose I have Jean to thank- or curse- for me talking to Betsy. My...dad...my dad trusts her, and so does Abby. Even Andrew trusts her, so that’s worth something.” Kevin brandished his hand again, confirmed to himself and to the camera that it was whole. “Thinking in numbers always helped me. Listing them, I mean. Twelve Olympians, two world-wars, ten players on a court, fifty symphonies by Mozart….But there are numbers that I don’t speak aloud. Jean does. I don’t. I don’t know how Jean does it. He’s so much stronger, healthier, and happier than he was all those months ago. 

“But I saw him, in the rain, when we were leaving the banquet. It was raining and it was too early for the sun to be up at the airport yet. He hesitated. So did… so did Neil. No one spoke, but I suppose a few of them got the idea about what the hold-up was. I don’t know how many times Riko waterboarded Neil, but Jean was waterboarded ten times- at least. I think...could be more, though. He tried once with me. Not for long, and I was too young to really understand what it was.” 

Kevin sighed and rubbed his temples, trying to organize his thoughts. “It was a game to him, you see. He was curious in all the worst ways. I didn’t know any better. I didn’t know a lot of things that he and Tetsuji did were fundamentally wrong until I came here. Players don’t flinch from their coaches in fear of a lead cane to the ribs. Teammates don’t cower when their captains are aggravated or worry about being tied to said captain’s bed with a knife carving out their skin.

“Jean and I came to Evermore at different points in our lives,” he stated. “I was grief-stricken, young, and imprintable. Jean was angry and betrayed.  _ Angry  _ doesn’t really cover Jean- he kept his French accent all these years through pure spite, which is something I’ve always admired,” he said, then took a breath. “Betsy says I focus on what happened to Jean or Neil too much, and not about what happened to me. Avoidance, she calls it. She says it’s a coping mechanism that doesn’t help- it just makes the guilt worse. But I despise talking about myself.” 

Kevin was quiet. “I can hear the phantom laughter of my team if they ever heard that sentence. Tonight, after that dream, I realized I never really told the rest of them what Evermore was like. What Riko and Tetsuji were like. I don’t need their pity… they all pitied me when my hand was broken. Not just my team, but the entire country. Everyone was jealous of the attention, but it wasn’t what I wanted. Pity got me nowhere, especially when my own team that year ran out of pity as soon as they saw how demanding I was. 

“I didn’t care. I don’t, still. Mostly. I didn’t- I don’t want to be pitied. It helps no one. No one can understand, really.” Kevin made an obscure gesture in the air. “Put aside the pressure I was under from Riko and Tetsuji and all of that; I was raised on Exy. I lived and breathed it. Literally. I am the way I am because of that. But when my hand got broken, my entire world was upended. I didn’t know what to do, I didn’t know where to go. I couldn’t do the one thing that had remained constant in my life prior to that. And the worst part? The world still spun. The sun still rose in the East and set in the West. People still went about their day-to-day lives. It seemed ridiculous. How could everything be normal to them, but for me, everything be so different? 

“With the injury, I said the phrase ‘I wish’ constantly during those first few weeks. I wish I hadn’t agreed to that match. I wish I didn’t live in Evermore. I wish I went to my dad sooner. I wish my hand wasn’t broken. I had to stop that, though. It helped no one. I was watching life through a glass box. Detached. Panicked. For all I knew, I couldn’t play again,” Kevin exclaimed. “I couldn’t and didn’t accept it. I trained my right hand. I don’t...really know what would’ve happened if my right hand hadn’t been compliant. It wouldn’t have… it wouldn’t have been good. The tabloids would’ve had a field day painting me as a lost soul- a poster child for the cons of growing up in the spotlight

“I guess,” he said, “what I’m really trying to say, is I didn’t and still don’t want pity for what happened. I want people to realize how fucking hard it was, how it grated on me every second. I want them to know just how much I went through and it didn’t fucking break me. I want them to know that Riko. Lost.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do like to think that Kevin read Percy Jackson and had a whole phase with it- it's impossible to be a history major or anything like that without doing something like that in your childhood. If you haven't read it or the Song of Achilles, I highly recommend it, but tsoa is super gut-wrenching and heartbreaking so, like, have fun !!  
> Also, Greek mythology is super duper gay and if anyone tries to tell you otherwise they're wrong and need to reevaluate their life :)


	12. Wymack Explains a Few Things

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “A-bby,” Kevin stressed. “They want to know why Neil is fucking Jesus. How are we explaining that in a way that doesn’t spit on religion?” 
> 
> “Hmm,” Abby hummed. “That is a situation.” 
> 
> “Oh my god,” Wymack said. “I’m going to have to let Neil do press duty next game.” 
> 
> “You know,” Kevin drawled. “He’s Captain next year, and he’ll do a majority of the press duties.” 
> 
> Wymack groaned and buried his face in the couch cushions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: extremely, very vague reference to a character having a 'bad day' (dissociating or suicidal/bad thoughts), also some angst

The weeks flew by, and as the Exy season started winding down. The Foxes still had semi-finals against Penn State in two weeks, and then perhaps onto finals- if they all listened to Kevin’s advice. As time passed, Abby’s stomach grew and grew. Wymack allowed her to come to games, still, but only because he knew his team too well to expect an injury-free game. Neil’s mouth and Aaron’s fists had made sure of that the past couple of weeks. Kevin also may have gotten into it a few times… only a few. 

Kevin had continued his ‘video diaries’ (he wasn’t sure what else to call them, and they  _ were  _ diaries, no matter how much he hated the connotation of the word). Some days, he recorded the simple things- the simple pleasures of his new life. Playing  _ Just Dance _ with Allison and losing to her, arguing about movies with Matt, playing card games with Renee and Dan, debating with Aaron, and day-to-day dorm life with Andrew and Neil. Kevin almost had an aneurysm when he went back and watched the sheer amount of times he had caught Andrew consuming sugar on-camera alone. Other times, he didn’t even record himself. He caught Neil asleep in Andrew’s lap one time accidentally, and had also recorded the mute death-threat Andrew had sent him along with it. Kevin didn’t mind- he didn’t mind seeing them happy. 

But there were bad things, too. 

He talked about the stress of exams, or the time he found out over the phone that Jean had a not-so-good moment one day alone in the dorm. Fights with the team were still common, and even more common were the shouting matches with the  freshmen . The baby was also a common topic; Kevin still wasn’t entirely convinced the baby wouldn’t drop dead when near Kevin. 

One day, when Kevin was over at Wymack’s house, Wymack mentioned the baby again. 

It wasn’t his fault. Test and due dates were flying around Kevin’s head, and he could feel a particularly close deadline breathing down his neck as if it was a tangible thing. It wasn’t Wymack’s fault that the news- the expectancy- of the baby had plagued Kevin ever since he found out. Wymack couldn’t have known that- Kevin hadn’t told him, after all. Kevin had mentioned it to Betsy once, just to see how she would react. She had smiled softly and helped Kevin attempt to put his thoughts in order. 

'Attempt' was the key word in that sentence. 

So, when Wymack talked about the baby, Kevin fucking erupted. 

“You’re being a dad now, is that it?” Kevin snipped. “Finally getting around to that?” 

Wymack stilled instantly, eyes wide and looking at Kevin, but didn’t say a word. 

It just pissed Kevin off. “You know, I understand that this- this situation between us is shit; you didn’t know and I didn’t tell you. But it’s been a fucking year, Wymack, since you found out. And now- what? You’re having another baby? A do-over? Yeah, I’m sure that’ll go well.” Kevin looked at his Coach to see if he was going to interrupt and plowed on when he didn’t. 

“This fucking baby is going to stop you from coaching, and then what? What happens to the team? Are you going to coach them when Abby’s on maternity leave? Or are you putting all your energy into being a ‘dad’?” 

“Kevin,” Abby said sharply, entering the room just then. 

Kevin kept going. “No, stop. It’s not fucking fair. You know why? Because this fucking baby is going to get your undivided attention. And that. Fucking. Sucks. The team will fail if you’re not there, because god knows the  freshmen don’t take Neil or me seriously. I- we need you as our coach. We’ll crumble without you. But, hey, it’s fine, right?” Kevin’s voice started cracking, so he talked more to cover it up. “As long as the baby doesn’t turn out like this.” He made an angry, vague gesture. Towards what, he didn’t know. It could’ve been to Wymack, it could’ve been towards the broken Foxes, but he knew it was at himself. “It fucking sucks. And then you ask me to be the brother of this kid. I want to- you have no idea how much I want to be a brother. But it scares the hell out of me. The one ‘brother’ I had was a piece of shit, and I- I don’t trust myself to be any better. I want to love this baby- god knows I do- but they’re gonna get my dad. They’re going to get my dad, and my team, and my mo- Abby, when I don’t even get my dad; I just get my coach.”

Abby’s face crumbled, and it broke Kevin. He fell into her arms and mumbled into her shoulder, “I just want my dad, and I won’t get him because this baby will.” 

Kevin couldn’t see Wymack with Kevin’s back to him, but he could practically feel the mental conversation he and Abby were having over his bowed head, still collapsed in Abby’s arms. She stroked his hair and whispered reassurance after reassurance, which calmed Kevin’s frantic heartbeat. 

Wymack still hadn’t said a word.

Kevin pulled out of Abby’s arms and scooped up his backpack with a jerky motion. He avoided Abby and Wymack’s gazes as he said something about Andrew needing him at the dorm, and he was on his way out the door when… when Wymack’s light touch on his arm stopped him. 

“Kevin,” he said, his voice nearly breaking at the word. He cleared his throat and started again. “Kevin, I’m not leaving. Abby’s due during summer break. It’ll be alright. I’m not leaving. Neither of us are. I talked to Chuck weeks ago and I’m not taking a leave. I live right here, anyway.” 

The sparse words helped more than Kevin thought they would. 

“I… know that our...situation, as you put it, isn’t ideal or normal,” Wymack went on. “I can’t even say I’m trying to make the most of it, because you and I both know I’m shit at this stuff.” Kevin knew. They were both terrible at this, and hadn’t tried to fix it. Wymack’s next words weren’t what he expected, though. 

“And I’m scared shitless of it.” 

Kevin’s gaze snapped up to Wymack. Wymack, who had taken on his entire teams’ tragedies, again and again and again. Wymack, who had battled the FBI and got Neil returned safe to them when no one thought he would. Wymack, who had faced down the Moriyama’s when Tetsuji had tried to take Kevin back for months and months.

And Wymack was scared of… this? 

“Yeah,” Wymack confirmed, reading Kevin’s mind. “Scared absolutely shitless. Abby can tell you. I didn’t know what to do with myself- and I still fucking don’t. How could I be a father when I didn’t know what that was? My father was shit, and so was my mother. When you told me I was your dad, I couldn’t stop hitting myself for it. Every time you crossed your arms or scowled or berated the team I couldn’t believe I didn’t figure it out sooner. I have only myself to blame for your poor communication skills, you know.” 

“I’ve concluded it must be genetic,” Abby pipped in, making them both chuckle softly. 

“And....” Wymack stopped and cleared his throat, looking uncomfortable about what he was about to say. “And I was pissed at myself when I found out you were my kid. My son.” 

This was...news to Kevin. “Why?” 

Wymack laughed a laugh that lacked all humor and warmth. “I couldn’t save you.” 

...oh. Wymack hadn’t been able to save Kevin from Riko, from Tetsuji, from the Nest- from any of it. Kevin swallowed heavily. “You...couldn’t have known.” 

“Doesn’t mean it doesn’t bother me late at night still.” 

“You couldn’t have done anything.” 

“And yet here we are.” 

Kevin’s lips twitched. “Here we are.” 

“Kev, I was caught off-guard when you told me I was your dad, and yeah, it took me a shitload of time to process it. But there’s no one I’d rather have as my kid. You’re a fucking superb Exy player, an amazing student, and, despite what those bastards say, you care a lot about others. You were willing to help Neil even when you knew it would put your own life at risk- and you knew it wouldn’t save Neil forever.”

“You...knew about that?”

“Sure did,” he said. “Look, I know you’re anxious about the baby, but, Kevin, you have nothing to worry about-” 

“I know, I know,” Kevin interrupted. “You’re still going to coach and Abby’s still going to be there, too. I don’t know why I said otherwise.” 

Abby raised an eyebrow. “I think David was referring to the fact that you, dear Kevin, are scared shitless over the baby. The baby isn’t a do-over, Kev. It’s just… something. Something nice, and someone that will be loved by so many people. Someone that will love you and you will take amazing care of and be an amazing influence for. This isn’t us trying again. And you’re going to be a  _ wonderful  _ brother, Kev. Absolutely amazing. All the other kids at school will be jealous because this kid will have Kevin fucking Day as a brother and they won’t.” 

Wymack nodded sharply. “Don’t you fucking dare think, for a goddamn minute, that we aren’t proud as fuck of you.” 

Abby smiled wryly as Kevin’s eyes stung. “Not that I would’ve said it so explicitly,  _ David,  _ but yes, Kevin, we’re incredibly proud of you and love you so, so much.” 

Kevin got roped into another hug by Abby, and even he and Wymack managed an awkward- but well-meant- squeeze. 

A chirp sounded from Wymack’s phone. He fished it out of his back pocket, read whatever it was, and fell backward onto the couch. Arm over his eyes, he turned his phone so it faced Abby and Kevin. Kevin, seeing what it was, groaned and fell back onto the couch, too. 

“I can’t fucking believe that they kept that picture,” he lamented. “Nothing good is coming from that. Nothing. Mark my words.” 

Abby stifled a smile. “I think it’s cute.”

“ _ A _ -bby,” Kevin stressed. “They want to know why Neil is fucking  _ Jesus.  _ How are we explaining that in a way that doesn’t spit on religion?” 

“Hmm,” Abby hummed. “That is a situation.” 

“Oh my god,” Wymack said. “I’m going to have to let Neil do press duty next game.” 

“You know,” Kevin drawled. “He’s Captain next year, and he’ll do a majority of the press duties.” 

Wymack groaned and buried his face in the couch cushions. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks to everyone who's read this far !!  
> also, the chapters might come out a little slower (as in, not one or two a day, probably one every other day? sometimes shorter or longer depending on if my brain works) because up until now I've had everything pre-written and I only have one chapter completed after this. Not sure how much longer this will go on, a few more chapters, but long enough to wrap everything up  
> sorry for the angst but it had to be done- I know wymack and kevin had that amazing moment at the finals with 'and my dad comes to every game' which is a moment that lives rent-free in my head, but I also felt that they were both terrible at real-people emotions (couldn't be me) and needed to have an actual convo about how things stand between them


	13. Nicky's Daily Vlog

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “That better not be going on any team social media.” 
> 
> Nicky smiled and panned the camera to Coach, who was crossing his arms but smiling. “Oh, don’t worry, Coach. All is well, all is fine.” 
> 
> “Nicky, you’re recording on Snapchat right now.” 
> 
> “Shut up Aaron, no one likes the one weak bitch in the group that isn’t down for murder.” 
> 
> “...I’ll give you five seconds to remember who you’re talking to and rethink that statement.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: mild panic attack and outing people

“What.” Neil blinked at the reporter. “Can you repeat that?” 

The reporter looked startled, but complied. “Can you explain why your teams’ official Twitter header is ‘The Last Supper’ with all of your faces pasted over it? And why you are Jesus?” 

Neil blinked slower this time. “How does this have to do with Ex-” 

“We,” Kevin cut in, “felt that we needed to change things up. Nicky needed a project for his Photography Class, and that qualified as his photoshopping final.” 

“Yes, okay,” the reporter said. “But why is Neil Josten Jesus?” 

Matt, thankfully, was right there. “Because we all love Neil,” he declared, completely serious and straight-faced. “And Neil deserves everything in the world. And more. Neil deserves the world.” 

“...are we not talking about the same Neil Josten with mob ties?”

“I’m  _ right here _ ,” Neil interjected. 

“And?” Matt asked, directing it at the reporter and daring anyone to contradict his assessment of Neil’s angelic grace. 

The reporter looked confused, and Kevin sighed, knowing he was in for a long night. “But… were you not afraid of how this would be perceived? Some of your fans must have been offended.” 

Kevin pasted his press-ready smile on. “We didn’t mean to offend anyone, that was not our intention, no.” 

“And besides,” Neil continued, “I am one-hundred percent certain you can stick your- oW!  _ What the fuck, Kevin _ ?” 

The last part, hissed in French, was directed at Kevin after he had kicked Neil in the shins. “ _ We’re going to the finals, Neil. Piss of the press after that.”  _

Neil grumbled, but complied and started answering solely Exy-related topics. 

It was true- the Foxes had beaten Penn State. They would continue on to the finals, which they now knew would be against the USC Trojans. They would be coming to Palmetto, and Kevin would be lying if he said he wasn’t as excited (if not more) as the rest of the team about the prospect of bringing them to Columbia for the night. The team had opted to stay the night and fly back to California the next day. 

Kevin wasn’t nervous, nope, not him, he was the opposite of nervous. He wouldn’t mind if the world opened up, just a teensy tiny bit, to swallow him to avoid saying anything damning to Jeremy, though. 

Finally, blessedly, press duty was over and they returned to their teammates in the locker room. Because it was an away game and the showers didn’t have any stalls, Neil hung back while Matt and Kevin continued to the showers. 

After it was all said and done, they returned and found their teammates celebrating profusely. Different conversations overlapped and Kevin didn’t know how to make heads or tails of any of them. 

“We,” Nicky declared, phone in hand and recording the team, “are the  _ hottest _ shit around.” 

“That better not be going on any team social media.” 

Nicky smiled and panned the camera to Coach, who was crossing his arms but smiling. “Oh, don’t worry, Coach. All is well, all is fine.” 

“Nicky, you’re recording on Snapchat right now.” 

“Shut up Aaron, no one likes the one weak bitch in the group that isn’t down for murder.” 

“...I’ll give you five seconds to remember who you’re talking to and rethink that statement.” 

“Nope,” Nicky said. “Moment’s passed. I said what I meant and I meant what I said.” 

“I support Nicky; Aaron, you tattled to our dad and no one likes a snitch.” 

“Allison, I need you to know I am not your dad. It is very important to me that you know that, genetically, I am not your dad.” 

“You’re Kevin’s dad!” 

“That doesn’t mean you’re all my long-lost kids!” 

“You played catch with Dan last week.” 

“...duly noted and ignored.”

“Who was going to tell me about the Twitter header? Matt?” 

“Aw, Neil, we thought you’d like it!” 

“Andrew, you allowed this to happen?”

“Who do you think sent them the picture?”

Abby came in and handed Kevin an ice-pack. “For your thigh,” she explained. “I saw the hit you took during the game- and the limping you’ve been doing since.” Kevin took the ice pack and Abby wrapped him in a tight hug. “Good game, sweetie.” 

Kevin was tired. That’s what he blamed it on. His brain was fried and his limbs were numb and bruised at the same time. So when he said: ‘Thanks, mom.’ to Abby, he didn’t realize what he had done right away. 

Everyone froze and stared. Even Nicky stopped screaming and galavanting around. 

“Did you just call Abby ‘mom’?” Dan asked.

Kevin’s brain glitched as he tried to remember what he had last said. “No.” 

“You did,” Neil said. “You called Abby ‘mom.” 

“Did not.” 

“You one-hundred-percent did,” Andrew told him.

Abby ruffled his hair. “It’s alright, Kev, I don’t mind; I find it endearing.” 

“Abby,” Nicky sniffed. “If you cry, I’ll cry, and I really don’t want to cry after we just beat Penn State.”

Allison shoved her way to Nicky’s side and wove an arm around him. “We are amazing, aren’t we?”

Nicky hollered again and went over to Kevin. “Awwww, look, he’s not reprimanding us on everything we did wrong yet. Kevin, we thawed your cold, dead heart!” 

Kevin popped Nicky in the back of the head. “I’ll post the notes for tonight on Instagram so everyone can see what a failure you are.” 

“Mmm, they won’t take you seriously- I posted that ‘the Floor is Lava’ challenge we did last week, and you kinda lost all your street-cred when people saw you leap onto and bear-hug a lamp to avoid imaginary lava.” 

“I survived while all you bitches burned- I have no regrets.” 

Nicky pointed at Kevin dramatically for the camera. “The fearsome Son of Exy, guys, gals, and non-binary pals.” 

“I hate you,” Kevin said without feeling. Nicky smiled again and wandered off in the vast locker room, allowing Kevin to make his way to the corner where his dad was talking on the phone. Neil and Andrew had their eyes trained on him, and Kevin could see the tension around his eyes. 

“Okay,” his dad said. “Yes, I understand. Okay. Thank you.” He hung up and met the three pairs of eyes on him. 

Andrew cocked his head. “What travesty has befallen us this time?” 

Kevin’s dad pursed his lips. “There’s been a… mishap.” 

“A mishap as in one-of-us-got-kidnapped-and-are-now-in-FBI-custody, or as in Allison-chipped-a-nail-punching-a-dickhead-at-the-bar?” Matt asked. 

“A mishap,” Kevin’s dad said, “as in there was a riot.” 

Neil froze like a deer in headlights. Kevin didn’t miss the way Andrew pushed Neil behind him, as if he alone could shield him. The rest of the team had gotten the feeling that something was off and looked at their coach. Even Nicky had stopped recording. 

“There doesn’t seem to be any outside, purposeful influence,” his dad assured Neil. “It’s just a bunch of fans pissed we whipped their team’s asses.” 

“Okay…?” Dan said cautiously. “What’s the actual problem?” 

“They trashed the bus and we’re gonna have to fly home.” 

“...oh. Yeah. That’s a mishap.” 

His dad grunted in agreement. “I’ll buy the tickets, but we can’t leave for another hour. The mob’s just dying down now, and the police say they have no idea if any of the possessions on the bus were stolen or not. Did you all leave anything valuable on the bus that you can think of off the top of your head?” 

The team muttered about hoodies and spare shoes, but there was an overall ‘no’ answered back. 

Kevin...Kevin was not one of those that said ‘no’. 

“Shit,” he whispered vehemently and slid to the floor. “Fuck.” He was so quiet that no one but Andrew, Neil, and his dad heard him. 

Neil’s gaze was piercing and assessing as always. “What.” 

“I…” He turned to his dad. “Camera. I brought it. I always do and it was on the bus, I didn’t bring it off the bus because I didn’t want it to be in the locker with the janitors coming and going, it was on the bus-” 

A weight on the back of his neck- Andrew’s hand- cut his blubbering short. “Breathe; you’re no use to anyone if you don’t.” 

His dad looked at him. “Kevin, it will be fine. We don’t even know if it was stolen.” 

“You said the police didn’t find anything on the bus. It’s a huge camera case and it was sitting on my seat, on display for the world to take.” 

“Kevin,” Neil said. “What’s on it that’s so incriminating? Or is it just because it’s your mother’s?” 

“...both. But,” Kevin said, “mainly the first.” 

“You talked, didn’t you?” 

“...” 

“Do we need to call Ichirou?” 

Kevin’s brain froze at the name. “I- Ichirou? He- no, he just- I-” 

“What did I say about the breathing, asshole?” Andrew commented. 

Kevin’s dad reached into one of the equipment bags and pulled out an Exy ball, commanding Kevin to squeeze on it in time with his breathing. Kevin sucked in one breath, then another, and a third after that. 

“No, nothing about...them. Nothing that compromises them.” 

“But?” Neil prompted. 

“Some shit that happened at the Nest. Complaints, comments-” 

“If it’s all Exy I’m killing you.” Andrew increased the pressure on his neck for a millisecond but released him quickly. 

Kevin thought about it. “I mean, there are some particularly eye-opening videos around the...shit. Around the dorm.” He looked at Neil and Andrew, eyes pleading and apologetic. “I’m- It’s my fault. They’ll see you two on the couch tog-” 

Andrew held up a hand, stopping Kevin mid-rant, and looked at Neil, who shrugged in return. Andrew looked back at Kevin and raised an eyebrow. “And?” 

Kevin released a breath. “Nothing. It’s fine. You’re not threatening to skin him in the video, so it’s fine.” 

“Damnit.” 

“Wait.” His dad held up a hand. “Are you sure they’ll release it?” 

“If they’re smart,” Allison said, neatly inserting herself into the extremely-audible conversation, “they’ll sell it to the highest bidder. How do you think the people who did it to me made bank?” 

Allison’s last statement seemed like news to the rest of the team, but she didn’t elaborate and no one asked. 

Kevin’s dad nodded. “Okay, and you’re sure nothing that has to do with...the big boss is on there?” 

“I said some things about Riko,” Kevin admitted. 

Neil waved it aside. “They can’t do much if you speak ill of the dead. Might badger Tetsuji and past Ravens a little bit, but…” he realized it at the same time Kevin did. “Jean.” 

“Fucking hell. Fuck, Jeremy, too. He’s with Jean.” 

“And Thea,” Kevin’s dad pointed out, making them all groan.

“I’m sorry.” Matt raised a hand like he was in class. “What’s happening?” 

Keven ran a hand over his face. He looked at his dad, who was going to support him no matter what, and at the faces of his teammates who had been through hell and were still around. Kevin clapped his hands together once and stood up straight. “The press will ask about it, and I can’t have you guys caught off-guard when they do. It wouldn’t be good for any of us. So,” said Kevin, “let me tell you a little story about how Riko ate shit.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay soooo mah bad for assuming I had good time management skills and would be able to write more, I blame school. You can all thank my friend (the one who came up with the idea, and the one who's commenting telling me to hurry up) for urging me to write, so, there you go


	14. 'B' is for Buddy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Kevin, you’re the best striker in the league,” stated Neil.
> 
> Matt squinted at him. “Besides you, right, buddy?” 
> 
> Neil quirked a smile. “Of course, buddy.” 
> 
> “If you call each other buddy one more time I’m smacking you,” Allison said.
> 
> “Sorry, bud- oW!” 
> 
> “I warned you, Matt.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW for mentions of homophobia and past torture and abuse

The video was released barely two days later. By then, the Foxes had returned to Palmetto and were all but completely barricading themselves in their dorm rooms. 

Kevin’s face was pasted over every single news source, every website, and every social media platform. He couldn’t open his phone without hundreds of notifications popping up. Interviewers begging for his time, reporters asking for quotes, and some Ravens fans threatening him to take back his harsh words. 

After they had gotten back to the bus and confirmed that, yes, the camera had indeed been taken, he had reached out to Thea first. She had been no-nonsense and straight to the point. Thea didn’t know about the Moriyama’s mob ties, and Kevin wasn’t about to tell her. 

He’d told her the basics of what to expect, and apologized ahead of time for the segment where he talked about their past relationship and the end of it. 

Thea was fine. She’d said it would be selfish of her to cry over the tiny amount of grief she’d get compared to Kevin. There’d been a little bit of groaning- from both of them- over dealing with the press; their relationship had never been public knowledge, or knowledge in general. Thea had said it would be bothersome to confront, but ultimately it was fine, nothing that the tabloids don’t already print. 

Jean scoffed when Kevin told him. 

“You think I do not get these questions daily?” he had asked. “My scars raise questions, Kevin. This will be nothing new.”

“But Jean,” Kevin had protested. “They now know where the scars came from. They will know what you endured.” 

“So?” Jean had said. “Let them; Riko lost. I won. They should fucking know. At least now they will stop pondering the origin of my scars.” 

And that had been that. 

The conversation with Jeremy had been long; they had strayed off-topic every other sentence, discussing Exy, the Trojans, the Foxes, and Jeremy’s stray cat that he had found in the gutter a few days prior (her name was now Princess Sparkles- named by Jean- and she had scratched Jeremy relentlessly, but slept in Jean’s lap every night. Jeremy was offended and betrayed, but now had multiple pictures to blackmail Jean with). Kevin had asked Jeremy if he needed or wanted to know about anything ahead of time that the news would cover, but Jeremy had thrown the question right back in his face, asking Kevin if he wanted to talk about it. Kevin had ended up telling Jeremy almost everything on the tape, minus the triggering stuff, and Jeremy had told Kevin that he could find out the worse stuff from Jean so Kevin didn’t have to do it over the phone. 

Jeremy- along with Kevin’s own Captain- had asked him if he wanted them to not watch the videos when they were released. Kevin declined their kind offers; they would hear and see it everywhere regardless. 

Now, back at the dorm, Dan turned off the TV, silencing the ESPN segment where a bunch of old men were trying to psychoanalyze Kevin. “Well,” she said. “That was… a lot.” 

Kevin was shaking. He couldn’t stop his knee from bouncing up and down and he couldn’t stop clenching his fists in a nervous habit. Everyone had seen it. Everyone. They all knew Kevin more than they should ever. 

Oh god. What if he couldn’t sign to a pro team because of this? His life was forfeit- done. He should just go pick out his own headstone now so at least it was sensible and awe-inspiring. 

Neil snorted. “Kevin just pissed on the Ravens even more than he did last year.”

“I’m going to kill you, Day,” Andrew promised. “I am going to bury you alive and pour gasoline over your shallow grave and then light it up.” 

Kevin tried to laugh. “Because I painted you as something other than psychotic?” Andrew stayed silent, which meant that, yes, he was angry that Kevin had made people think of him as a human. 

“I think we’re all ignoring the  _ real  _ revelation here,” Nicky said dramatically. Kevin knew Nicky laid his ‘loudness’ on thick when he was trying to be distracting. “ _ Where  _ did you  _ get  _ that  _ adorable  _ shot of Andrew and Neil?” 

Andrew started thumbing the ends of his armbands, and Renee gave him a pointed look. He put his hands up, but he didn’t look happy about it. 

Evidently, Nicky didn’t know to stop while he was ahead. “I thought it was just hate-sex! Why- that’s not hate-sex! That’s...that’s fucking adorable, that’s what!”

“Nicky,” Aaron said. “Shut up.”

Kevin’s dad thumped him on the back. “You okay?” 

Kevin shrugged and forced his voice to be level. “It is what it is. I can’t change it. The press will be hell, but….” 

“Kevin,” Dan said quietly. Everyone turned to her and Kevin tensed, ready for a blow. “Everything you said...that was all true, wasn’t it? The dreams, the...the stuff Riko did- to you and Jean, all of it?” 

Kevin nodded mutely. 

Matt whispered, barely audible, “Shit.” He laughed mirthlessly. “...shit.” 

“Yeah, well,” Kevin said. “If we got what we deserved we wouldn’t be Foxes, right?” 

“Kevin there’s a fine line between grade-A trauma and continuous torture,” Allison said. 

Matt’s eyes looked glassy as he got up and approached Kevin. Kevin flinched back- he knew Matt could pack a punch, and he knew first-hand what that felt like. Whatever Kevin did made Matt’s eyes tear up even more. Matt slowly wrapped his arms around Kevin, slow enough that Kevin would have plenty of time to pull away. He didn’t, though. 

“ _ Buddy, _ ” Matt said tearfully, a name he usually reserved for Neil. “Why didn’t you tell us?” 

“I-I dunno,” Kevin stammered. Matt pulled away from him and looked at him long and hard through the tears. “I didn’t think it mattered!” 

Matt made a noise somewhere between a laugh and a sob. “You’re the worst, Kevin. You sound like Neil.” 

Allison clicked her nails together. “You’re still an asshole.” 

“Allison,” Renee chided softly, squeezing Allison’s other hand softly. 

“But,” Allison continued, “you’re an asshole who went through a lot of shit I don’t think any of us could manage, so you’re an asshole I respect.” 

“...that was slightly better,” Renee amended. 

Kevin inclined his head to Allison in recognition. It was as good of an apology as he’d get from her. He looked around at the faces of his family: Neil and Andrew were watchful, but they’d always known exactly what had happened in the Nest- Neil first-handedly. Renee was calm and collected, as always, and she was whispering with Allision with their heads ducked together. Kevin supposed Renee had seen many horrors, and this wouldn’t shock her as much as the rest. Matt and Nicky were each tearful, Matt openly crying and Nicky trying to hide it. Aaron, next to Nicky, was staring at nothing, deep in thought. Dan was next to Kevin now, shoulder-to-shoulder with him, and he could feel the warmth through his hoodie. Kevin knew she was shocked- more than shocked, really- but was trying to hide it for his sake. 

“Dan,” he said quietly, bumping their shoulders together. “You can ask me.” 

She bit her lip, as if wondering if she should, but ultimately did it anyway: “Why didn’t you leave sooner?”

Kevin shrugged. “I was scared- terrified, really. Riko was all I had, and I excused his actions until he crossed one too many lines. And where would I have gone if I had left?” 

“Well then why didn’t you leave as soon as you knew Wymack was your dad?” 

Kevin looked up and met eyes with his dad, hand in hand with Abby, across the room. “Scared.” 

“Of Riko,” Matt asked, “or of Coach?” 

“Scared of Riko, scared of Coach- scared  _ for  _ Coach, if I had left and gone to him.” 

“Looks like you had nothing to worry about.” Kevin’s dad gestured to himself, proving that Riko had not gotten him.

Kevin smiled. “Guess not.” 

“So…” Aaron said. “You...like...guys? You like them like you like girls?” 

Kevin tensed for a moment. This wasn’t exactly how he planned on letting it be known- especially to Abby and his dad; his parents. He had planned on telling them last week but… then everything happened. He wasn’t overly worried about how his teammates would take the news (that was a lie, his hands were shaking) because he knew they had no problem with it.

Well, most of them didn’t have a problem.

Andrew and Neil looked sharply at Aaron, watchful and waiting. Nicky scooted away from Aaron and towards Allison. He laughed nervously, “All of those videos and  _ that’s  _ what you’re concerned about.” 

“No,” Aaron said. “Maybe. No.” 

“Does it matter, Aaron?” Kevin asked, raising his eyebrows. 

Aaron bit the inside of his cheek, contemplating. “No…” he said slowly. He looked to Andrew and Neil, and then to his cousin, still huddled next to Allison. “No,” he repeated, firmer this time.

Andrew cocked his head and spoke in quick, sharp German. Aaron flinched but held his chin high. Neil said something this time, jerking his head towards Nicky. Aaron shrunk into himself again, but turned to his cousin, speaking still in soft German. 

Kevin was fluent in many languages, but German wasn’t one of them. Still, after all these years surrounded by the harsh language, Kevin could pick up a few things.

Aaron was apologizing. 

Nicky’s tears flowed freely now, he couldn’t even choke out a full word, much less a sentence. Aaron sighed and rolled his eyes. “Couldn’t have waited until later? This is supposed to be Kevin’s moment and you’re stepping on it.” 

Kevin waved him off. “You just don’t like that Nicky wants to hug you. You hate showing emotion.” 

“Is it a twin thing?” Dan asked. “It must be a twin thing.” 

Aaron scowled while Andrew’s face remained blank, demonstrating who truly hid their emotions well. Unfortunately for Andrew, Kevin could read him better and better with each passing week. Andrew was cautiously optimistic, if not a bit suspicious, about Aaron’s change of heart. Kevin couldn’t call it a ‘sudden’ change of heart; he’d noticed Aaron’s jeers less and less throughout the year. 

Nicky turned his still-wet eyes to Kevin. “D...do you have a boyfriend?” 

Matt’s eyes widened. He snapped his fingers and pointed at Kevin. “Hockey player. Last December. Night time. Outside your history class.” 

Fuck. Fuck Matt for being attentive to what his friends do. Fuck Matt for taking English near Kevin’s class. “And?” Kevin asked. 

“Youhookedupwithhimohmygod,” Nicky said, all in one breath. “KevinKevinKevinyesKevinIknewit.” 

Allison patted Nicky on the back in an attempt to make him breathe, staring and smirking at Kevin while doing it. “So when are you going to get together with Jeremy?” 

Kevin blinked at her. “Are you a witch?” 

“Not usually what they call me.”

“How did you kn-”

“The number of times you mentioned him. You’re either a serial killer, stalker, or have a massive crush on him. Or all of the above.” 

Kevin wrinkled his nose. “It’s not a  _ crush.  _ You make it sound like I’m in middle school.” 

Nicky shook his head. “You’re crushing on Jeremy Knox. I mean, I can’t say I blame y- GAH!” 

Aaron picked up the pillow he’d thrown at Nicky. “That’s Kevin’s  _ crush  _ you’re talking about. By the laws of every middle schooler ever, you’re not allowed to like him.”

Allison nodded confirmation. “Hands off, Nicky.” 

Kevin put his head in his hands, mostly to hide his stinging eyes. “I really feel like we’re in fucking middle school now.” 

“So,” Neil asked him in French. “When are you going to have a big freak-out about how this affects the prospect of your future career? Wanna do it now?” 

Kevin ran a hand through his hair. In English, he said: “They all know now. They won’t sign me.” 

Neil raised an eyebrow, going along with Kevin’s English. “And? What about me? And Andrew?” 

Shit. “I assumed you were going to kill anyone who said anything about it.” 

“Fair assumption.” 

Nicky gave them all a funny look. “You do know what’s happening on Twitter, right?” 

They all looked at Nicky expectantly, so he sighed dramatically. “Kevin, they don’t hate you- far from it. Sure, you’ve got your homophobes, and, of course, the people who still love the Ravens, and will continue to deny everything you say. But a lot of people  _ are  _ supporting you.” He gasped again. “Oh my god, what if they paint a  _ Star Wars  _ mural of you? Like in that book-” 

“Nicky,” Kevin interrupted. “This isn’t going to be like  _ Red, White, and Royal Blue. _ ”

“You’re not very optimistic,” Nicky huffed.

“Still,” Neil said. “That’s good. Kevin, you’re the best striker in the league; it’d be a war crime not to sign you.” 

Matt squinted at him. “Besides you, right, buddy?” 

Neil quirked a smile. “Of course, buddy.” 

“If you call each other buddy one more time I’m smacking you,” Allison said.

“Sorry, bud- oW!” 

“I warned you, Matt.”

Nicky smiled and stood up. “Walk with me?” he asked Kevin. Kevin, confused and concerned, followed Nicky into the kitchen, out of earshot of the rowdy team.

The smile dropped from his face when he looked at Kevin, making Nicky seem… tired. Un-Nicky-like. “Are you okay?” 

“What?” 

Nicky ran a tired hand over his face. “You just got forcefully outed to the public- this is every gay book character’s worst nightmare.” 

Kevin knit his brows together. “I...you’re asking if I’m...okay?” 

When Nicky met his eyes again, Kevin suddenly remembered that Nicky was the eldest of them- it was easy to forget by the way he behaved. But in that moment, Kevin remembered why Nicky was a Fox. Nicky somehow managed to raise the twins when he was fresh out of high school. His parents had forced him to go to conversion therapy as a kid. Kevin clenched his fists together, as he did whenever he thought of Luther and Maria Hemmick.

“Kevin, I know we joke around a lot,” Nicky started. “I know  _ I  _ joke around a lot, but we all care- you have to know we do. And if and when people start saying things and asking questions, I’ll be the first in line to knock them flat on their asses. You’re taking this in stride, which is more than I could ever do if this happened to me, but you’ll hit a snag on the road eventually. Just...I’m here if you need me, okay?” 

Kevin couldn’t help it; he was feeling sentimental and emotional. Nicky made an  _ oof  _ sound when Kevin hugged him, but was quick to cling to Kevin just as tight.

“Wow,” he said. “Two hugs in one day- you really are a changed man, Kev.” 

Kevin shoved him lightly away. “I’ll kill you one day, Nicholas Hemmick. I swear it on my grave.” 

“Don’t you dare kill our backliner, Day, unless you want to convince Aaron to partner with one of the freshmen on the court,” Kevin’s dad warned, entering the kitchen. 

“Better luck next time.” Nicky did a mock-salute, turned on his heel and left the kitchen.

Kevin’s dad shook his head and let out a long-suffering sigh. “I can’t believe I have to deal with your asses all day, every day.” 

Kevin shrugged and shifted from foot to foot. “Your fault, Dad. I dunno what to tell you.” 

His dad smiled softly, facing Kevin with kind eyes. “Kev, how’re you doing?” 

“You know,” Kevin said, “people keep asking me that. One of these days I’ll find an answer I believe.” 

“Look,” his dad said. “We both know I’m shit at this, and I was half-inclined to send Abby in here and let her do the talking, but Abby told me to grow a pair.” 

“Good advice.” 

“Asshole,” his dad said affectionately. “I’m just saying it frankly, because that’s all I know how to do: I’m proud of you- prouder than I was before, if that’s possible- and I… what’s the phrase? I always love and accept you. I’m here for you, every step of the way, no matter who you have a...  _ crush  _ on _. _ ” He wrinkled his nose at the word. “God, every day I think that maybe they’ll stop being juvenile, and every day they prove me wrong.” 

Kevin had heard some form of these words a lot throughout the day, but they were somehow different coming from his dad. He knew, always, that his dad and Abby would be with him, but everyone had the fear that maybe their parents wouldn’t accept them. Nicky was the prime example of that. But Kevin’s dad had proven that he was amazing, yet again. 

“Thanks, Dad,” Kevin said, blinking rapidly. “God, I hate Nicky for making me like this. I blame him for everything.” 

His dad wrapped his arms around him, and even though they were about the same height, Kevin felt small and safe there. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> let me just say, from the bottom of my heart, mah bad for thinking I could actually manage to handle all my schoolwork AND write this at the same time. so thanks to everyone who's somehow still reading this


End file.
